


All I Need

by xDarkDesires



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Consensual Underage Sex, Cute, Kid Fic, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDarkDesires/pseuds/xDarkDesires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen have been best friends from the moment they met. They've grown up together and always only had time for each other. However, high school is different. Jensen discovers girls, or rather, one girl in particular and so Jared spends his time sleeping with the school idiot to completely ignore the fact that he's head over heels for his best friend.</p><p>Jared considers that he may like his friend a little more than a friend but it pretty much blows up before it starts. Jensen is going to be a father, and a single one at that. Jared makes the painful decision to try and bury his feelings and be the friend that he's always been. Jensen is straight, has a child to look after, a job to hold down, a college to attend and grades to keep up. Jared doesn't stand a chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Need

**Title:** All That I Need  
 **Author:**  xDarkDesires  
 **Pairing:**  Jared/Jensen  
 **Rating:**  R  
 **Warnings:**  Jared/other, Jensen/other, bad language, mentions of m/m sex scenes and m/f sex scenes (non explicit), kid fic (not mpreg)  
 **Summary:**  Jared and Jensen have been best friends from the moment they met. They've grown up together and always only had time for each other. However, high school is different. Jensen discovers girls, or rather, one girl in particular and so Jared spends his time sleeping with the school idiot to completely ignore the fact that he's head over heels for his best friend.  
  
Jared considers that he may like his friend a little more than a friend but it pretty much blows up before it starts. Jensen is going to be a father, and a single one at that. Jared makes the painful decision to try and bury his feelings and be the friend that he's always been. Jensen is straight, has a child to look after, a job to hold down, a college to attend and grades to keep up. Jared doesn't stand a chance.

This can also be read on [LiveJournal.](http://xdarkdesires.livejournal.com/68658.html) I'd like to give a massive thank you to my wonderful artist! You can check out her art post [here. ](http://miss-melissa17.livejournal.com/498.html) 

 

 

-x-

**Part 1**

-x-

  
  
  
  
Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki when they were four years old. The Ackles family moved in next door to the Padalecki family. It took Jared a full eight minutes to scope out the new arrivals and find himself a possible ally in the form of a chubby kid about his age. The child climbed out of the moving truck with his older brother then ignored the adults moving stuff into the house so that he could run around the garden and pretend that he was an airplane.  
  
Jared liked the kid straight away. He was awesome at airplane noises and Jared also made amazing airplane noises. They could totally be aeroplanes together!  
  
Jared brushed the dirt off his shorts and puffed his chest out to make himself look as cool as possible as he climbed down from the porch to introduce himself to the boy running around on the shared patch of grass in front of their houses. The kid stopped short when Jared got close and he eyed him suspiciously before breaking out into a toothy smile. Jared grinned back, his tongue poking through the gap where he lost his front tooth a week earlier.  
  
“Hi.” The kid extended a hand and forced Jared to shake it. “I’m Jenthen.”  
  
“Jenthen?” Jared frowned because that didn’t sound like a real name.  
  
“Jensen? Honey, who’s your friend?” A nice lady who smelt like cherries crouched down next to them and smiled warmly at Jared.  
  
“Oh, Jensen.” Jared grinned, finally understanding the name. “That sounds better. I’m Jared.” He introduced himself and the woman’s smile deepened.  
  
“Do you live next door Jared?” She asked and Jared nodded eagerly.  
  
“Yeah. My momma lets me play out on the front garden now that I’m a big boy.” Jared declared proudly.  
  
“I see.” She chuckled softly. “Is your momma home?”  
  
“Of course she is.” Jared frowned again. “Who else would look after me?”  
  
The lady gave him a sympathetic smile and announced that she was going to introduce herself to Jared’s momma and told them to play nicely.  
  
“I’m pretending to be an aeroplane.” Jensen declared proudly. “You want to play?”  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
Jared was four so he didn’t exactly spend much time thinking about the sad look that Jensen’s mom had given him. In mere seconds, he was already running around Jensen’s garden and being the best darn aeroplane that he could be. After a while, they linked arms when Jensen invited Jared to be his co-pilot after Jared had displayed his brilliance in flying. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jensen had never had a friend like Jared. Well, he was only four so he’d never really had a real friend apart from his brother and his brother sucked so that didn't count. It had been the best thing that had ever happened to him when the little boy next door came over and introduced himself. It also helped that Jared was pretty good at pretending to be an aeroplane.  
  
“I have airplane toys,” Jared announced proudly.  
  
“You do?” Jensen beamed.  
  
“You wanna see them?” Jared pointed at his house and a window on the second floor. “They’re in my bedroom.”  
  
“Yeah!” Jensen giggled as Jared clasped their hands together and dragged him inside, running straight past their mothers and climbing the staircase to the bedroom that would become as familiar to him as his own.  
  
“Welcome to my room.” Jared beamed proudly and waved his arms around. “People are supposed to knock but you can come in without knocking.”  
  
Jensen felt honoured. “Fanks Jayred.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
By age seven, they were sleeping over at each other’s house every weekend. Jensen’s mom and Jared’s mom had grown into close friends, almost as close as Jared and Jensen but not quite that close. Nobody was as close as them because they were bestest buddies for life. Their moms could never have that kind of friendship. All they did was sit around and drink coffee and eat cupcakes. They didn’t do any of the cool stuff that Jared and Jensen did, like winning the war against the ant people in the back yard or terrorising Mrs Beckett’s dog because it was an evil villain in disguise.  
  
“Do you think the boys are too close?” Jared heard Jensen’s mom ask his mom one evening when she dropped Jensen off for yet another sleepover.  
  
“Of course not. They’re best friends.” Jared’s mom replied easily.  
  
Jared had been told that listening in on other peoples conversations was bad but it was about him so that didn’t count, right? He grabbed the two cans of soda for him and Jensen that he’d come downstairs for and pressed his ear against the living room door. Jensen had taken his bag upstairs and it was just their moms in the living room talking surprisingly loud. If they didn’t want him to hear then they would have been quieter, right?  
  
“I have nothing against them being best friends but aren’t you worried?” Jensen’s mom sounded upset and Jared would have felt sorry for her if she'd not been talking about his and Jensen’s friendship.  
  
“Why should I be? They’re young boys. They’re lucky to be so close."  
  
“I just worry about Jensen. Josh has so many different friends and Jensen just has Jared. Shouldn’t he have more friends? Especially girl ones.”  
  
Jared shuddered at the thought. Girls were disgusting and full of scary diseases that you could catch just by being close to one. No boy needed a girl in their life. Ever. End of discussion. As for boyfriends, well, he had Jensen and Jensen had him. They really didn’t need anybody else.  
  
“It’ll all change when they get to high school. You’ll see.” His mom promised but Jared doubted that very much.  
  
“What if they become even closer?” Donna asked.  
  
“Can they even be any closer?” His mom laughed. “I saw Jensen climbing on Jared’s shoulders the other day. They’re literally as close as can be.”  
  
“I mean… what if they get… you know…  _romantic_.” Donna spoke the last word as if it was something horrid but Jared didn’t understand. His mom always watched romantic movies and she said romance was a good thing. Why would Jensen’s mom not want him to have that?  
  
His mom laughed and Jared didn’t know if he should be offended or not. “If they do, then it’s not like we have any control over it. We can’t live their lives for them. For all we know they’ll be best man at each other’s wedding. As long as they’re happy and healthy then I’m happy.”  
  
“But it’s wrong.” Donna protested softly.  
  
“In your eyes, maybe, but times are changing. We’re lucky that our boys are able to be raised in a world that is becoming much more accepting. I’m sure everything will work out fine. Just wait until they’re old enough for girls and you’ll see.”  
  
“Are you ebesdwopping?” Jensen jabbed him in the side and gave him a stern look. “That’s not nice.”  
  
“They were talking about us.” Jared defended himself, smiling at the way Jensen spoke. He wasn’t all that great at pronouncing words properly and it was pretty cute.  
  
“What were dey saying? Is dat my soda?” Jensen pointed to the drink in Jared’s hands and Jared handed it over with a grin.  
  
“I don’t really know. You mom thinks we’re too close.”  
  
Jensen looked puzzled at that. “But we’re best fwiends. Right?”  
  
“Right.” Jared agreed. “Best friends.”  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
When Jensen went home the next day, Jared asked his mom what she and Jensen’s mom had been talking about. She scolded him for listening in on their conversation but proceeded to explain that Jensen’s mom had just been concerned that he and Jensen were getting too close but that she was just silly.  
  
“She said the word 'romance' like it was a bad thing.” Jared said sadly.  
  
“It’s just very hard for two boys to be romantic with each other.” His mom sighed. “Jensen’s mom just doesn’t want you boys to go through that. You’re too young to be worrying about this.”  
  
“So Jensen’s mom doesn’t want us to get married?” Jared asked and his mom hid her smile behind her hand.  
  
“You and Jensen can’t get married sweetie.”  
  
Jared frowned. “Why not?”  
  
“Because the police won’t let you. It’s against the law here.”  
  
“Well that’s stupid.” Jared said.  
  
“You don’t want to marry Jensen anyway.” His mom told him. “You’re only supposed to marry somebody you love.”  
  
“But I do love Jensen.” Jared argued.  
  
“You do, huh?” His mom didn’t even try to hold back the laugh this time.  
  
“Yes.” Jared nodded honestly. “I’m gonna marry Jensen someday.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jared was the only person in school who wasn’t mean to Jensen because of how he spoke. His mom said he was normal and it would come with time but Jensen was tired of people being mean to him just because he couldn’t say things properly. He knew exactly how words should be said but he just couldn’t say them right. It didn’t mean that he was stupid!  
  
“What’s the matter, Jenny? You can’t say things pwoperly?” The bully mocked and Jensen felt his face burn from the insult.  
  
“Leave me awone.” Jensen mumbled, wincing at how that sounded.  
  
“Awone?” The bully laughed. “Why do you talk like a baby?”  
  
“Hey!” Jared came storming over and pushed the bully over, making him cry. “Now who’s the baby?” He grinned smugly and Jensen was so happy to have his friend that he hugged him as tight as he could.  
  
The teacher wasn’t happy that Jared had resorted to violence but he’d gotten away with just a warning when he and Jensen told the teacher all about what had happened. The school didn’t like bullying and were trying their hardest not to congratulate Jared for stopping a bully from upsetting another student. Jensen’s mom was mad at him for letting somebody be mean to him though because Josh would never let someone be mean to him. She didn't understand that Jensen didn’t need to stand up for himself like Josh did. He had Jared and he was more than ok with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They were thirteen when they had their first kiss.  
  
“Dude. We can’t start high school as losers who’ve never kissed anyone before.” Jensen declared as he invited himself into Jared’s room.  
  
Jared yelped when the door opened and threw the bed sheets over himself. He’d recently discovered what his dick was good for and had been thoroughly abusing the new sensations. He couldn’t help himself. He grew hard every time the damn wind blew his way so nobody could really blame him.  
  
“Don’t you know how to knock?!” Jared glared at his friend but Jensen ignored him and dropped down next to him on the bed. “Uh, a little privacy here?”  
  
“Jay, can you do that in your own time please? We have an emergency here!”  
  
Jared had more of an emergency going on underneath the sheets than Jensen’s first kiss problem but he allowed his friend to have his freak out. They were starting high school in a few days and clearly the first day nerves were getting to Jensen’s head.  
  
“And what exactly do you suggest we do?” Jared sighed.  
  
Jensen seemed to think about this for a moment as he got more comfortable. Jared hoped he didn’t get much closer else he’d probably put his hand in something that no hand really should have to deal with, not even Jared’s. Jensen bit his lip and turned to face Jared. He was about to ask Jensen what his plan was but he didn’t have a choice because, before he knew it, Jensen’s lips were covering his.  
  
Jared gasped and Jensen took the opportunity to tentatively touch their tongues together. It wasn’t all that great of a kiss. In fact, compared to their kisses later on in life, it was god damn awful but Jared kissed him back, figuring what the hell and throwing caution to the wind. The kiss was sloppy, awkward and, honestly, Jared was kind of glad when it was over.  
  
“What the hell?” Jared asked breathlessly as Jensen wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.  
  
“Well, now we won’t suck when girls kiss us.” Jensen shrugged. “How was it?”  
  
“Gross!” Jared answered and wiped at his mouth then laughed when Jensen shoved him.  
  
“I just saved you an awful first time with a girl!” Jensen argued. “You can thank me when she’s impressed that you kissed someone before and actually know what you’re doing.”  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. “Of course, Jensen. I’ll remember to thank you when a girl kisses me and she asks me where I learnt not to drool in her mouth.”  
  
“Sorry.” Jensen flushed, and let out a nervous chuckle.  
  
“It’s ok. You drool in your sleep so, with all these sleepovers and you being your prissy self by not sleeping on the floor, I’m used to it.” Jared probably deserved the dead arm that Jensen gave him for that.  
  
“You’re an ass.”  
  
“And yet you still wanted to share your first kiss with me.” Jared teased.  
  
Kissing your best friend was something that could break a relationship if it was taken the wrong way but they fell back into their easy friendship as if nothing had ever happened. It was just another one of those things that they’d shared together and they were both ok with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It had seemed like a good idea at the time but kissing Jared had the potential to be a huge mistake. It was a good kiss though. Jensen wasn’t into guys but if he was then he’d be into Jared because for a first kiss, he was good! Jensen felt weirdly proud of him and he was glad that he’d been Jared’s first just as much as he’d been Jensen’s. Neither of them would have to be the unkissed losers in high school now.  
  
“I still can’t believe you did that.” Jared chuckled. “I expect dinner and a movie next time.”  
  
“Don’t be such a girl. You should be honoured that you got to kiss me! I’m a catch.”  
  
“Hence the reason you’re single.” Jared teased and Jensen just stuck his tongue out in response.  
  
“I can’t believe you know such a big word as hence.” Jensen grinned at his last minute retort and Jared laughed.  
  
“Ooh, I’m offended.”  
  
“Should be.” Jensen smirked as they fell back into a comfortable silence. Things were more than ok between them and Jensen never really noticed how not normal that was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
High school turned out to be the time when they really discovered themselves.  
  
Jared became captain of the basketball team and got a job volunteering at the local animal shelter. It wasn’t a paid job but it was still a job that he loved. By the time he was sixteen, he managed to date the head cheerleader, Sandy, for a few months before discovering that he was gay. It was something that he really should have discovered before the poor girl started falling for him but he guessed he couldn’t really control that so he tried hard not to dwell on it. He could have chosen a better time to discover his preferences, though.  
  
For Jared, there was nothing more awkward than going down on a girl. He was about to lose his virginity, but he couldn't help realizing that what he was doing was fucking disgusting and that he’d much rather be screwing his hot teammate. Well, said hot teammate was Chad and he was a douche so, maybe, if he could switch Chad’s personality with Sandy, then he’d give it a try. But that would never happen and Jared would never sink so low. So really his teammate was just nice to look at. Actually, a lot of his teammates were nice to look at. He really wondered how the hell had it taken him so long to notice.  
  
Jensen also changed in high school. They were still best friends, closer than ever. In fact, the Jensen he knew wasn’t the Jensen he’d always been. Jensen went from ignoring every teacher who talked to him to working hard in school so that he excelled in every subject. He was trying to get an academic scholarship for college while Jared was going for a sports scholarship and hoping that basketball would see him through.  
  
They both had it all planned out. Jared was the basketball heart throb that always made the winning shot and Jensen was in the football team and swim team and would likely be captain of the football team by the time he was a senior. Jensen was talented at everything he did and Jared was pretty damn proud of him.  
  
One thing that really changed in high school was their looks. Jared’s hair grew shaggy and untamed and his frame finally filled out to accommodate his gangly limbs. His dimples became much more defined but his voice didn’t go as deep as he’d hoped, causing Jensen to tease him endlessly. The teasing didn’t last for long though because puberty hit Jensen hard. He’d often be talking and have to stop when his voice went all croaky and high pitched, leaving Jared to do the teasing.  
  
Puberty was a bitch to Jensen’s his voice but damn did it make it up to Jensen with his looks. His friend turned into the best looking guy in the entire school. All of the girls wanted him and even some of the guys looked twice at him. His muscles weren’t as defined as Jared’s but they were there and his arms were big and strong, designed for swimming, and his legs were powerful for football. He was the guy that Abercrombie was searching for. The perfect male. He had pouty lips, fucking freckles and ridiculously long eyelashes.  
  
Nobody was surprised when the gorgeous new girl took a liking to him.  
  
Danneel Harris was the cause of their first real argument. She had quickly become Jensen’s friend. As a result, he was always inviting her to sit with them at lunch and to hang out after school when it should have really been time for just Jared and Jensen. Jared realised how selfish and jealous he was being but he didn’t care.  
  
“It’s fucked up!” He yelled at his friend. “You finally find a pair of tits to be interested in and suddenly our friendship is no longer important!”  
  
“You know that’s not true!” Jensen fought back. “She’s my friend!”  
  
“Oh yeah, a great friend! Must be awesome if you’re replacing me with her!”  
  
“I’m allowed more than one friend!” Jensen snapped. “The world doesn’t revolve around you!”  
  
“I’m not saying it does!”  
  
“Then what the hell is wrong with you?”  
  
“I don’t know!” Jared pulled at his own hair in frustration. “I’m just a jealous asshole who never learnt how to share my toys as a child.”  
  
“So I’m just a toy?” Jensen glared at him but Jared knew that he wasn’t really mad.  
  
“No, I’m just an ass.” Jared sighed.  
  
“Yes, you are.” Jensen agreed. “Danneel is just my friend. Nothing else.”  
  
Jared had actually believed him.  
  
He was civil to Danneel when she spoke to him but he didn’t make much of an effort to befriend her, not like Jensen did. After a few months, it was like she was always part of their group and Jared almost accepted that they would ultimately be friends. Right up until he saw her kissing Jensen against his stupid Chevrolet Impala that he loved more than anyone after he won his first football game as captain.  
  
It didn’t take long for them to make their relationship known. Danneel practically mounted him whenever he sat on a damn chair and he did nothing to stop her. Instead he just grinned up at her and pulled her tight against him as he kissed her. Suddenly, Jared was jealous for a completely different reason.  
  
Which is what lead to ultimately the biggest mistake of Jared’s high school life.  
  
“Dude, if you wanna fuck me, then all you gotta do is ask,” Chad teased as he leaned against his locker next to Jared’s after practice one night, dressed in just a white towel after showering.  
  
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jared laughed nervously and concentrated very hard on his own locker.  
  
“Come on, man. No straight guy stares at another guy’s ass in the shower and I catch you doing it all the damn time.” Chad smirked. “I’m flattered, really.”  
  
“I do not just stare at your ass.” Jared argued and it was sort of true. He stared at Chad’s cock sometimes too.  
  
“The shower is made of metal you idiot. It’s practically a mirror.” Chad rolled his eyes and damn, Jared really hadn’t thought about that one.  
  
“What do you want, Chad?” Jared sighed.  
  
“You.” Chad answered simply and moved into Jared’s space, crowding him against the locker and pinning him there with his body. “You know, when Sandy told me you practically ran out of the room screaming after she offered to fuck you, I didn’t believe her. But, now, I’m thinking she may have been right.” He chuckled and Jared blushed because he’d known that he’d never be able to live that down.  
  
“So, you’re gay?” Jared wanted to slap a hand over his mouth as soon as he said it but he kept his composure.  
  
“We’re all a little gay.” Chad shrugged and leaned in until their noses were brushing together. “The door’s there if you wanna leave?”  
  
Jared considered it. Chad was his friend and he was offering him an out. This didn’t have to happen. He could walk out of that door and never think of this moment again. Chad was a douche but he was a loyal friend and he was smoking hot though Jared would never tell him that. He was also the perfect way to take his mind off Jensen for a while. Perfect.  
  
“My God, you’re a fucking drama queen.” Chad muttered as Jared spent a while thinking it through. “Knew I should have just done this.”  
  
And then, Chad kissed him, right there in the locker room. Neither of them noticed as somebody else entered the locker room briefly before slipping away unnoticed as their kisses turned deeper and they started shamelessly grinding against each other. He should have known that it was a bad idea to start anything with Chad because he knew Chad. He knew exactly what the other boy was like and he should have known better. But he didn’t protest when Chad dropped to his knees right there in the locker room and gave him his first ever blow job.  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jensen didn’t know what to do with what he’d seen. Chad fucking Murray!? Who the hell would go gay for Murray? Was Jared insane? Did he hit his head on a brick or something? Jared could get any girl that he wanted to and, if he was gay, then he could probably get any guy that he wanted to. Chad, on the other hand, was a douche and Jared was just in for trouble if he got too involved with the other boy.  
  
He didn’t mind that Jared was gay, presuming that he was gay anyway. He was pretty sure that making out with a guy qualified for being gay, or, at the very least, bisexual. It was something that could be taken badly by a lot of people and Jared could get a lot of trouble off assholes for it but Jensen wasn’t one of them. Jared was his best friend and it didn’t matter to him if he liked girls, guys or anything in between.  
  
Jensen didn’t know if he should confront his friend or wait for him to come out to him in his own time. What if Jared was going through a gay crisis and didn’t want to acknowledge it? Or worse, what if he was begging for help but nobody knew how to help him?  
  
Why couldn’t he have just walked in the locker room a few minutes earlier?  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Can I talk to you?” Jared asked as he entered Jensen’s bedroom a week later.  
  
“Sure.” Jensen said hesitantly.  
  
Jensen had been acting strangely all week and Jared figured that it was now or never. Jensen was already acting weird so there was no way that he could act even more weird. Well, that and the fact that Jared had spent the past week naked with Chad. Even thinking about that was gross.  
  
“I need to tell you something.” Jared sighed. “Something big. I really don’t know how to say this.”  
  
“Will it make you less nervous if I say that I saw you?” Jensen offered.  
  
“You did?” Jared paled at the words.  _That_  was why Jensen was being weird. “Oh fuck.”  
  
“It’s ok.” Jensen was on his feet in seconds and pulling Jared into a hug. “I’m not grossed out or anything. Well, actually, I saw you making out with Chad and so I’m a little grossed out but not at you. I’m totally fine if you’re gay. But, seriously? Chad?”  
  
Jared couldn’t help but laugh. “I know. Right?”  
  
“There has to be hotter gay guys in school.” Jensen grinned. “You can do so much better than that douche.”  
  
“I dunno.” Jared grinned at his most recent memory with Chad. “He’s fun.”  
  
“Oh, God.” Jensen groaned. “Please don’t tell me you’ve fucked him.”  
  
“Dude no.” Jared laughed and shoved Jensen, playfully. “This whole thing started like a week ago. I’m not that much of a slut.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“You make it sound like you’re the slut.” Jared raised a questioning eyebrow.  
  
“This weekend, I might be.” Jensen beamed. “Danni said she’s ready so I might finally lose the V plates.”  
  
“Congrats man.” Jared was happy for his friend. Really, he was. “Finally growing into those balls god gave you.”  
  
“Says the other virgin in the room.” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Can I ask you a question?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“I really don’t want to know if you let Chad fuck you. Feel free to tell me if  _you_  fuck  _him_  but, dude, I really don’t need to know if Chad’s gone near your ass.Like ever.” Jensen physically shuddered at that and Jared slapped him around the head.  
  
“As if I’d let Chad in my ass.”  
  
“Ah, so you’re a toppy bastard.” Jensen smirked and ducked when Jared went to slap him again.  
  
“Toppy? What kind of straight guy knows about topping!” Jared teased.  
  
“Shut up!” Jensen gently shoved him but kept on laughing.  
  
“So, we’re cool?” He had to make sure. He needed this to be ok.  
  
“Yeah, we’re cool.”  
  
They went to Chad’s party the next weekend and things quickly escalated, once again thanks to Jared’s jealousy.  
  
He was happily buzzed from cheap beer and he was dancing in the living room with Chad, their hips close together in a hard grind. Their secret had stayed secret for all of a day after he’d told Jensen because Chad has a big mouth and an even bigger ego at landing himself a hot guy. Not that Jared considered himself hot but Chad certainly did.  
  
They were both star athletes and carried the basketball team to many victories so nobody actually judged them and everybody was acting as if nothing had happened. It was kind of surreal but Jared was glad that his coming out didn’t involve getting the shit kicked out of him by all his teammates. The team apparently felt no need to act strange around them because they had each other so they wouldn’t need to go for any of them. It was typical straight guys worrying about the gay guys having a crush on them. As if they thought that being male instantly made them attractive to gay guys.  
  
The party was actually kind of fun and he was having a good time, right up until he saw Jensen across the room. He had Danneel pressed up against a wall and was kissing his way down her neck while she grabbed at his ass, pulling them closer. Jensen was grinning as he kissed her, letting his hands roam and caress her through her dress. Jared shouldn’t be watching them but he couldn’t help it, they were fucking hot together and the constant pressure against his dick from Chad wasn’t helping.  
  
Danneel whispered into Jensen’s ear and bit on the lobe as her hand trailed down to cup him in his jeans. His friend bucked into the touch and they both laughed nervously as Jensen took her hand and lead her in the way of one of the bedrooms and out of sight.  
  
Jared was dangerously hard and he wasn’t thinking straight as he locked his lips with Chad’s and let his hands slide into the back pockets of the other boy’s jeans. Chad groaned into the kiss as Jared squeezed the surprisingly firm ass in his hands, grinding them together even harder than before.  
  
“C’mon.” Chad whispered, his voice heavy with alcohol. “I saved us a bedroom.”  
  
Jared grinned and entwined their fingers, letting Chad lead the way. He was sure there was a better way to have a first time than to drunkenly fuck his maybe boyfriend into the mattress and then pass out straight after. It was even more shameful when he woke up in the night to puke before falling asleep again and wondering if he’d made a huge mistake.  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They were seventeen when their world changed forever.  
  
Jensen and Danneel hadn’t lasted. They really managed to fuck up their relationship but that didn’t stop them ending up in a bed together whenever they got drunk at every high school party they were invited to. Jared had to listen to Jensen when he told his best friend that he might be in love and then he had to listen again to his best friend’s drunken rambling when he drank his way through his dad’s liquor cabinet after he caught Danneel cheating. She hadn’t loved him like she thought she did and was much happier to be single. Jared hated her, though. The pain that she’d put Jensen through wasn’t forgivable.  
  
Jared and Chad, on the other hand, had been together for a whole year. Jared thought that things between them were great. He had a non-serious boyfriend and sex on a regular basis. What more could a guy ask for? Things were amazing and he couldn’t be happier. He had his best friend back to himself and his boyfriend had learnt how to deep throat, which was quite possibly the best talent on Earth.  
  
“Are you coming to my place later?” Chad asked as they got into school.  
  
“Yeah, after the game. Your parents out of town?” Jared replied as he stopped at his locker.  
  
“Yes, they left this morning.” Chad beamed. “I gotta go but I’ll see you later?”  
  
“Of course.” Jared accepted the kiss Chad gave him and smiled to himself as he watched him leave.  
  
“Sooo…” Jensen leaned against his locker next to Jared’s and gave him an amused smile.  
  
“Sooo…” Jared repeated, raising a questioning eyebrow.  
  
“Looks like things are getting serious.” Jensen noted.  
  
“What?” Jared laughed. “With Chad? Nah. We’re just casual.”  
  
“You’ve been together for a year, man. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s totally smitten.”  
  
“Chad? Chad doesn’t do relationships.” Jared almost laughed at the thought of Chad being serious.  
  
“Then what the fuck has he been doing with you for the past year?” Jensen looked confused but Jared simply shrugged.  
  
“Having fun.”  
  
“You’re an ass.” Jensen told him honestly, shaking his head in disbelief and leaving Jared standing by the lockers wondering what the fuck had just happened.  
  
Turns out, Jared’s a bigger dick than even he thought he could be.  
  
He’d had an amazing evening with Chad. His boyfriend had actually cooked him dinner. It was burnt but Jared still ate it. It was cute how sweet Chad was sometimes and he didn’t have the heart to tell him that dinner sucked. Chad then lead him to his bedroom and sat Jared on the bed, staring into his eyes and kissing him deeply as he slowly started to ride him.  
  
They actually snuggled together afterwards and it was weird but Jared went with it. He pressed a kiss to Chad’s forehead and smiled down at him when he turned in his arms to prop himself up on an elbow and look down at Jared.  
  
“What?” Jared asked, feeling self-conscious under the intensity of the gaze.  
  
“I love you,” Chad whispered and Jared felt his stomach drop. He hadn’t expected that. They were just fooling around, weren’t they?  
  
“Oh.” Jared wanted to punch himself in the face the second he said it.  
  
“Oh.” Chad repeated, looking wrecked. He sighed and tried to look anywhere but at Jared. “Go home Jay.”  
  
“Chad.” Jared pleaded but Chad cut him a deadly glare.  
  
“Go. Home. Jared.” Chad’s eyes were damp and Jared wanted to do something to change that but he couldn’t. He liked Chad. He liked him a lot. But love? He just didn’t feel that way. He didn’t even know that Chad was capable of feeling that way.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Jared whispered. “I had no idea.”  
  
“I thought giving you a year was enough time for you get over your whole unrequited love thing but you're clearly never going to get over it.” Chad muttered and pulled the sheets tight around himself.  
  
“Unrequited love?” Jaredrepeated with a frown. “Wait… what?”  
  
“With Jensen.” Chad replied as if it was obvious. “I thought if you had me then you’d get over him but apparently I was wrong.”  
  
“I’m not in love with Jensen.” Jared argued. “He’s my best friend.”  
  
“Bullshit.” Chad snapped. “I’m sick of having a relationship with somebody who’ll ditch me the second his friend wants him. You’ve been in a relationship with me for a fucking  _year_  Jared. How the fuck did you expect me to not fall for you?”  
  
“I didn’t think you were that kind of guy.” Jared admitted, still wondering why the hell Chad seemed to think he was in love with Jensen. Jensen was his best friend, nothing more.  
  
“Yeah. My mistake.” Chad muttered and climbed out of bed, storming out of the room.  
  
“Hey, where are you going?” Jared pulled on his jeans and raced after him.  
  
“This is over, Jared! I’m walking out!”  
  
“This is your house!”  
  
“Well, if you won’t leave, then I will!” Chad yelled.  
  
“I’m going!” Jared let out a yell of frustration and barely refrained from punching the wall. He couldn’t believe he’d managed to fuck it all up. How could he be such an asshole?  
  
He promised himself that he’d never be in a casual relationship again. He was going to be in for the love or not at all. There was no way he was going to hurt somebody again. Maybe he would make up with Chad because yeah, he cared about him. He had a shitload of making up to do but maybe they could make it work. Now that he knew of Chad’s feelings he was pretty sure that he could let himself fall in love. Maybe he could win him back.  
  
That was the plan anyway, right up, until he walked into his own bedroom.  
  
Jensen was sat on the bed and Jared figured it was the perfect opportunity to tell his friend how much of an ass he was. “So, turns out that you’re right.” Jared sighed. “Chad told me that he loved me and I couldn’t say it back and now I’m the biggest dick to ever walk the planet and… holy fuck, Jen. Are you crying?”  
  
Jensen turned watery eyes up to him and choked on a sob. Jared was at his side in an instant and wrapping his arms around the other boy, pulling him into a tight hug. He pulled back to get a good look at Jensen and noticed a bright red hand print on his right cheek. He gently traced his thumb over the mark and Jensen hissed at the contact.  
  
“Jen, what happened?” He felt as though he could feel his friend’s pain and it was killing him to see him crying like that.  
  
“Danneel… she’s… she’s…”  
  
“What’s she done now?” Jared really hated that girl for fucking up his best damn friend.  
  
“She’s pregnant.” He whispered and Jared’s jaw dropped. “It’s mine.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Jared was really fucking up today. He needed to learn when to speak and when to shut the fuck up.  
  
“Of course, I’m sure!” Jensen looked hurt. “She cheated on me and she acts a bit like a slut but she really isn’t Jay. She’s great as a friend and I know this baby is mine. The dates match up and everything.”  
  
“She slapped you too?” Jared asked, feeling sorry for his friend because that was going to turn into one hell of a bruise.  
  
“Nah, that was my mom.” Jensen shrugged and Jared gaped.  
  
“Your mom did that!”  
  
“She didn’t mean to. She apologized a million times after she did it but yeah. Danneel told me that she was pregnant after school. She came over and kinda yelled it at me. My mom heard every word and her first response was to slap me.”  
  
“God, Jen, I’m so sorry.” He held his friend tight and cradled him in his arms. “What are you gonna do?”  
  
“Danneel doesn’t want the baby.” He sniffled.  
  
“Do you?”  
  
“What does it matter? It’s Danneel’s choice. Not mine.”  
  
“Fuck that, Jensen.” Jared argued softly. “This baby is yours just as much as it is hers. If you want to keep it, then she might go through with the pregnancy.”  
  
“She won’t have a baby she doesn’t want.” Jensen sighed.  
  
“How do you know? She could have the baby and sign away all legal rights to you. It’s possible. If you want this child then you need to tell her. Don’t just let her abort your baby if you don’t want that. You’ll regret it for your whole life if you don’t fight for this.”  
  
“When’d you get so smart?” Jensen smiled sadly at him.  
  
“Trust me, that’s the smartest thing I’ve said all day.”

 

-x-

  
**Part 2**

-x-

So that was it. Danneel, the best friend stealer was having a baby and Jensen was the father. Nobody knew how Jensen had convinced Danneel to have the baby but she’d reluctantly agreed. It had taken her up until she arrived at the abortion clinic but she finally decided she couldn't do it and had listened to Jensen's pleas. That was it. He was going to be a father. That was all that mattered.  
  
Jared could have ditched his friend for a less complicated life but he cared about Jensen far too much so he stuck by him. He sat next to Jensen while his father yelled and threw things while his mother cried from where she was sat, hunched over on the couch. He waited in the car while Jensen went to the prenatal scans with Danneel. He also helped Jensen get a job at the animal shelter so that he’d have some money to support the baby when it eventually arrived.  
  
“I can’t take the job.” Jensen sighed as he collapsed on Jared’s bed after another sonogram appointment which had resulted in a very colourful argument between him and Danneel.  
  
“Why not?” Jared argued. “It’s a great job! You love animals and when we go to college you can transfer to the animal shelter there. You won’t have to worry about getting another job once we move and then panic because you can’t find one. It’s perfect!”  
  
“But Jay, you’ve been wanting a paid job at the shelter for months.” Jensen was a good friend. He’d never take something that Jared wanted, even though it would benefit him.  
  
“It doesn’t matter.” Jared slapped Jensen around the back of the head. “Are you stupid? You’ve got a baby coming. I work there for free because I love the job, not because I want a paid one. They already asked me if I wanted it and I said no because you need it more. Now, I’m going to march your ass to the shelter myself if you don’t stop being so nice and take something for yourself for once!”  
  
Jensen still looked reluctant but he finally agreed to let Jared take him to the shelter so that they could meet the boss and Jensen could sort out all of his details. It wasn’t the best paid job in the world but they weren’t asking for anything other than Jensen having a love of animals. He could do a stress free job and get money for it. Plus he could hang out with Jared more to take his mind off the worry of preparing for this baby.  
  
Danneel had made it pretty damn clear that she had no intention of being a part of the baby’s life. She was carrying the child for Jensen and she’d sign it over the second it was born and she was ready to leave the hospital. It was sad that the child would grow up without a mother but Jensen was kind of excited to be a father and do the right thing so Jared knew that the child wouldn’t go without anything it wanted or needed. He’d make a great father, Jared knew it.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“We need to figure out where we’re going to live in college.” Jensen said one afternoon as he dropped down onto the couch next to Jared and picked up an Xbox controller.  
  
“We already know where we’re going to live.” Jared frowned for a moment and then grinned when he killed Jensen’s character. “In an apartment near campus. That was always the plan.”  
  
“Yeah but I’m going to have a kid.” Jensen told Jared, as if he was stupid.  
  
“Yeah, so?” Jared answered in the same tone of voice.  
  
“So, I can’t expect you to live with a baby.”  
  
“Why the hell not?” Jared rolled his eyes. “We’ll just get a three bedroom instead of a two bedroom.”  
  
“The baby will be crying all the time. My mom will be calling the place nonstop to cry down the phone at whoever picks up because her son and grandchild are all the way across the country and I’m such a disappointment and I’ll be the moodiest person ever from being kept up all night. There’s no way in hell you want to put up with that when you’re going through college. Those are the best years of your life. You’ll want to party and have a good time, not be stuck with an eighteen year old father.”  
  
Jensen really wanted to live with Jared but he could never force him to share living space with a baby. He’d been dumb enough to get himself in this mess. He didn’t need to get Jared in it too.  
  
“Don’t be stupid.” Jared grinned fondly at him. “It doesn’t matter if you have one baby or fifty in the apartment. We said that we’d get one together and I know you’d still room with me if it was the other way around. We’ll start looking online for apartments and if the baby keeps me up all night then that’d pretty much turn me into every other student in the country.”  
  
“But, Jay.” Jensen whined. “You don’t need to.”  
  
“But, Jen.” Jared mimicked. “I want to.”  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Time went fast with everything that was going on and, before they knew it, they had three weeks until they finished high school forever and just six weeks until Jensen’s baby was due. Danneel still hadn’t changed her mind and planned to go to school in Europe in the fall so she had no intention of deciding to keep the baby at the last minute. She and Jensen were constantly arguing and Jared was lucky enough to be subjected to his friend’s anger and annoyance pretty much every day, on top of feeling guilty over Chad and their break up. It had been nearly eight months but he still felt so guilty and still received a hurt look from Chad whenever they saw each other.  
  
“Just three more weeks and it’ll all be over.” Jared groaned and lay down on the grass next to Jensen while he sat eating his lunch.  
  
“Chad still crying every time he sees you?” Jensen asked.  
  
“He never cried.” Jared argued softly. “He’s gone from looking all sad and mopey to pissed and angry.”  
  
“I can’t say that I’m surprised.” Jensen said unhelpfully.  
  
“You’re supposed to be my friend.” Jared glared at him.  
  
“I am, but you broke his heart. A whole year together and that guy loved you. You’re kind of an asshole.” Jensen was never one to sugar coat the truth.  
  
“Yeah.” Jared agreed. “I kind of am.”  
  
He hadn’t wanted to hurt Chad. They were friends before everything and Jared really felt bad for him because Jared honestly never expected the number one douchebag himself to actually be capable of love. It defied the laws of love for Chad to be in love. Still, Jared hoped they’d be friends again someday.  
  
“I still can’t believe you didn’t notice. Chad spent the whole year in a monogamous relationship. Are you blind? Chad doesn’t even understand the word monogamous and yet he managed to stay committed for you to a whole year. He could have written ‘I’m in big gay love with Jared’ in neon writing on your door and you wouldn’t have noticed.” Jensen snorted.  
  
“Please stop making me feel horrible.” Jared winced and buried his head in his hands.  
  
“The guy said he loves you and then you managed to get thrown out of his bed. This is mocking material for the rest of your living life.” Jensen told him. “I’m going to remind you of this for years to come.”  
  
“Says the guy who caused a teenage pregnancy.” Jared chuckled when Jensen punched his arm.  
  
“Shut up.” Jensen grumbled. “That’s Trojan’s fault, not mine.”  
  
“That sentence right there is what I’m mocking you for throughout the rest of  _your_  life.” Jared beamed. “The condom packet says that they only work like ninety percent of the time dude. You can’t blame them.”  
  
“I can and I will.” Jensen declared.  
  
Jared laughed and rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics before reaching into his back pack in search of something he’d picked up earlier. “I found this.”  
  
He handed over a tiny pair of bright blue PJs that would look fine on a boy or a girl to Jensen. His friend smiled proudly as he looked at the adorable baby clothes and the ‘I love my daddy’ that was stitched onto the front of them.  
  
“Thanks Jay.” His friend ran his fingers over the soft material and Jared could see the emotions whirling up in Jensen. “I love it.”  
  
“You’re welcome.” Jared hugged his friend. “You big sap.”  
  
It broke the intense moment and they both laughed. Jared had been buying things for the baby ever since Danneel made it to the third month of pregnancy and Jensen had been so touched by every single one of those things and so thankful that it just made Jared buy them all the more. His bank balance might hate him for it but the smile on Jensen’s face was worth it every time.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jared realised that he was in love with Jensen when they were eighteen. It all occurred to him when the unthinkable happened just four weeks before Danneel was due to give birth.  
  
School was officially over and they would be heading to college in the fall. He and Jensen had several apartments lined up that they were considering and they were pretty much all prepared to take off whenever they wanted to. The world was their oyster and nothing could get in their way. However, Jared’s world slowly crumbled when Josh knocked on his door while he was ordering school books online.  
  
“Hey.” Jared greeted him with a smile but his smile dropped when he saw the haunted look in Jensen’s brother’s eyes. “What’s up?”  
  
“There’s been an accident.” Josh whispered in disbelief.  
  
“An accident?” Jared repeated dumbly. “What kind of accident?”  
  
“Car crash.”  
  
“Oh my god.” Jared’s eyes widened. “Who was in the car? Your parents? Where’s Jensen?”  
  
“No, Jared.” Josh sniffed and braced himself. “Jensen and Danneel were in the car.”  
  
Life came to a standstill at that moment. Jared shook his head in denial, refusing to believe that something could have happened to Jensen. He had everything to live for so there was no way that he could have been involved in something as serious as a car crash. Then there was Danneel. She was eight months pregnant, surely she didn’t deserve this either. What about the baby? Was it ok? Was Danneel ok? And… oh God… was Jensen ok?  
  
“Jensen was taking Danneel to the hospital to get checked out and make sure she was all ready for the having the baby and they were hit by a drunk driver. My mom’s gone to the hospital. She told me to come and tell you what was going on.”  
  
“Drunk driver? Hospital?” Jared’s mind wasn’t functioning. Everything inside of him hurt and he didn’t know how to make it stop.  
  
“Jensen’s in surgery. That’s all I know. Your mom said she’ll drive us to the hospital.”  
  
Jared nodded and followed Josh on autopilot. All he knew was that Jensen was hurt and that he was in surgery. For all they knew, Jensen might die and Jensen’s baby was also in danger. Jared didn’t really care much for Danneel but she was hurt, too, and, as much as Jared was jealous of her, she didn’t deserve this. None of them deserved it.  
  
When they arrived at the hospital, they found Jensen’s parents holding each other and crying. Josh and Jared clung to each other, expecting the worst, but Donna and Alan smiled when they saw them. They were pulled into hugs but Jared couldn’t relax until somebody told him what had happened with Jensen.  
  
“He’s out of surgery.” Donna smiled softly. “He’s going to be ok.”  
  
“What’s wrong with him?” Jared asked, unable to believe that he was ok until he saw Jensen with his own eyes.  
  
“He has a concussion from hitting his head, a bunch of cuts and bruises and they had to remove a pretty big piece of glass from his chest but it didn’t puncture anything so he’s fine. He’ll be fine.” Donna tried to give him a shaky smile but failed.  
  
“What happened? How long has he been here?”  
  
“About eight hours.” She sighed. “They couldn’t find any contact information for me. Danneel’s parents had to call me.”  
  
“How’s Danneel?” What he really wanted to know was how the baby was but he figured that would be insensitive of him.  
  
“The car hit them on Jensen’s side. She’s fine.” Donna’s dislike of Danneel was obvious and had they not been in a hospital then Jared would have probably laughed. “She’s already signed away her baby.”  
  
“What?” That sparked up Jared’s attention.  
  
“The crash sent her into labour. They had to do a caesarean and she’s already signed everything she had to. I don’t think she’s even seen the baby.” Donna sounded like she had a similar lack of interest in the baby and it made Jared see red.  
  
“She’s had the baby and she’s already signed it over? Then why the hell are you standing here and not with the baby?” Jared snapped.  
  
“My son has just had surgery.” Donna narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
“And your grandchild has just been born and disowned by his mother. Don’t you think that the baby needs you too?”  
  
Donna didn’t have a response for that but she still made no effort to move.  
  
“Fine.” Jared returned her glare. “I’ll go and find out about your grandchild, shall I?”  
  
Jared stormed off from them in search of Danneel. Jensen was going to be fine and he knew that when his friend woke up the first thing he’d want to know was if his child was ok. If Jensen’s own mother wasn’t going to find out, then it was up to Jared. At least, this would pass the time until he could see Jensen. He figured that Danneel would be in the maternity ward and so he headed in that direction, smiling sweetly at all the nurses he passed, so that they let him in with no trouble. Once he located the right place, it wasn’t all that difficult to find her.  
  
She was covered in various bruises and cuts but nothing major. Her parents were sat with her and, though their eyes were red and clearly emotional after such an event they smiled at Jared as he approached. They knew who he was and seemed happy that somebody cared enough to come and visit their daughter. Danneel, on the other hand, looked warily at him and she sat up as best as she could, wincing as the movement hurt her stomach.  
  
“Don’t hurt yourself.” Jared told her softly and took the seat next to her. “Are you ok?”  
  
“Why aren’t you with Jensen?” Danneel looked at him as if he’d grown a second head.  
  
“He’s fine. He’s got a bunch of people waiting to see him but it doesn’t look like it’ll be for a while yet so I figured I’d come see how you were doing.”  
  
“You mean, come and check that I’ve actually signed away my baby and not run off with it.” Danneel snorted and her mother let out a shocked noise.  
  
“Actually, I came to check on you first. Jensen would kill me if I didn’t check that you and the baby were ok. Not even his mom has been to check on the baby so I figured somebody had to do it.” Jared felt pure rage at the woman not wanting to comfort her grandchild. That baby needed somebody to love them but their father couldn’t do it right now and their mother didn’t want to. It just wasn’t fair.  
  
“She hasn’t been to see him?” Danneel gaped. “That bitch!”  
  
“It’s a boy?” A huge grin split across Jared’s face at the thought of a baby Jensen running around.  
  
“She didn’t even tell you that?” Danneel huffed and let out a whimper when it hurt her stitches. “I hate that woman so damn much.”  
  
“She’s an acquired taste.” Jared admitted. He loved the woman but even he could admit that she wasn’t the easiest person in the world to get along with.  
  
“I can’t believe she hasn’t been to see her own grandson.”  
  
“Would you mind if I did? I don’t want him to be alone while Jensen’s out.” Jared asked hopefully.  
  
“I don’t have any right to him anymore.” Danneel shrugged. “He’s in the nursery. I gave your name as one of the people who can see him while Jensen is unconscious.”  
  
“I thought you had no right to him?”  
  
“I don’t but it’s not your average situation so the nurses respected my wishes.” Danneel made a shooing motion with her hands. “Go and see him. He needs to be with family.”  
  
Jared’s heart warmed at the thought of being family and he said his goodbyes, wishing Danneel good luck, and tried hard not to run in the direction of the nursery. The nurse was hesitant but she let him in to see baby boy Ackles and his grin actually hurt when he saw the sleeping body lying in the crib.  
  
“Wow.” Jared whispered in awe and stroked a huge finger over the baby’s delicate features. “He’s perfect.”  
  
“He certainly is handsome.” The nurse agreed. “Would you like to hold him?”  
  
“I don’t know how.” Jared admitted sheepishly and the nurse laughed softly.  
  
“Here.” She cradled the baby close to her body and nestled him in the crook of Jared’s arms, making sure he supported the head and didn’t drop him.  
  
“Wow.” Jared said again as he gently sat himself down.  
  
“Quite an experience, huh?” The nurse held out a bottle. “I was actually about to feed him if you’d like to do the honours.”  
  
Jared was terrified but he took the bottle and held it to the baby’s lips, beaming when the baby latched on and suckled enthusiastically. He’d never bottle fed a baby before and it was quite the experience. He felt bad that Jensen wasn’t the first one to do this but he guessed that him doing it was better than some stranger doing it.  
  
“Your daddy is going to be so happy to meet you.” Jared told him as the nurse gently manoeuvred Jared’s hands so that he could get the baby to burp.  
  
“You’re a natural.” The nurse told him and went over to greet Josh when he stepped into the room.  
  
“You can go in to see Jensen now if you want to.” He informed Jared and leaned over to stroke a finger through the baby’s fine blonde hair. “He’s awesome.” Josh grinned.  
  
“You wanna hold your nephew while I go and see Jen?” Jared asked and Josh nodded eagerly.  
  
It took several minutes to get Josh to actually hold the baby properly but Jared left feeling confident that Josh could manage to not drop the child before he got back. He found Jensen’s room as if by instinct and was sort of relieved to find only Jensen’s mom inside. Donna stiffened when Jared entered the room but it didn’t stop him from walking right in there and sitting down next to her son.  
  
“Did you see the baby?” Donna asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.  
  
“Yes. Figured it’d be nice for at least one person to take an interest in your grandson.” Jared sneered. He instantly felt bad for talking to the older woman like that but, given the circumstances, he thought he was pretty justified.  
  
“You have no right to talk to me like that!” Donna gasped.  
  
“And you have no right to ignore your grandson. You’ve been unhappy about this from the start and, yeah, I get that your son having a kid straight out of high school isn’t the greatest thing in the world, but he’s got a job, he’s going to college and he’s trying to build a life for himself. He’s doing the best he can and he needs you to be his mom because he’s clueless. He’s got a baby now and he just needs his mom. Don’t you see that?” Jared didn’t think it was his place to say these things to Donna but someone had to. He didn’t even feel a little bit guilty when she left the room.  
  
“Wow. You showed her.” Jensen mumbled and Jared did  _not_  shriek like a little girl. Nope. Not at all.  
  
“You’re awake?” Jared held a hand to his chest to soothe his pounding heart. “You scared the crap out of me you asshole.”  
  
“Sorry.” Jensen managed a weak smile. “But it was kinda fun to hear you yelling at my mom.”  
  
“Well, somebody had to.” Jared muttered.  
  
“Yeah.” Jensen chuckled softly and found himself coughing. Jared reached over and let him sip from a cup of water. “So…” Jensen bit his lip nervously and looked up at him. “Danneel had the baby?”  
  
“She did.” Jared grinned. “You’ve got a son.”  
  
“A son?” Jensen whispered in awe.  
  
“Yeah. Born on May the twenty third at eleven sixteen AM. He’s perfect, Jen. Greedy little bastard, too.” He laughed. “Drank his whole bottle in minutes.”  
  
“This my kid or yours?” Jensen teased.  
  
“I’d honestly question it because he eats just like me.” Jared said in a mock honest tone.  
  
“Oh, god.” Jensen groaned. “I can’t afford to feed another one of you!”  
  
“Shut up.” Jared laughed. “Seriously though, he’s amazing.”  
  
“What about Danneel? How is she?”  
  
“She’s fine. A bit bruised but fine. She’s signed everything she had to. The lawyer is just waiting on your signatures now.” Jared didn’t think he was the one who should be breaking the news to Jensen but he seemed to be the only one willing to act normal so he did what he had to.  
  
“She got rid of him already?” Jensen’s eyes were damp at the news. “Didn’t she even spend time with him first? Bond a little?”  
  
“I don’t think she’s even seen him.” Jared admitted sadly. “She's adamant that she doesn't want to be a mother yet so she doesn’t intend to see him, either. She doesn't want him to change her mind.”  
  
Danneel hadn't exactly admitted to that but Jared could see it in her eyes. She wasn't quite as hard to read as she thought she was. She wanted to do the right thing and it was safer if she just cut all ties straight away and Jared could respect her for that.  
  
“I guess part of me hoped that she’d change her mind. Want to settle down and be a family or something. Guess it’s just me and him now.” Jensen sighed.  
  
“And me.” Jared added. “You’re not alone, Jen. You never will be.”  
  
“Thanks.” Jensen smiled gratefully. “I don’t even have a name.”  
  
“Jared Junior is always a good one.” Jared mused.  
  
“No.” Jensen laughed.  
  
“Jared Tristan Junior?”  
  
Instead of saying no again Jensen remained silent. Jared looked up at him and Jensen was biting his lip, deep in thought. “Tristan. I like that name.” He eventually said and Jared’s eyes widened.  
  
“Seriously?” He asked. “You’re naming your kid after me?”  
  
“I’m naming my kid a name that I like.” Jensen corrected. “I like Tristan.”  
  
“Tristan Ackles.” Jared mused. “It’s got a nice ring to it.”  
  
“Tristan Daniel Ackles.” Jensen corrected and looked sheepish at Jared’s raised eyebrow. “Danneel is his mom. He’ll always know that.”  
  
“And he’ll know about how she didn’t want him and signed him away as soon as physically possible?” Jared sighed. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Positive.” Jensen agreed and pressed a button to alert a nurse that he wanted them. “Now I’d like to meet him.”  
  
Jared stayed at Jensen’s side as the doctor came in and inspected him to see if he was well enough to meet his son and waited patiently while Jensen sighed heavily and drummed his fingers on his stomach while they waited for the nurse to bring Tristan in to meet his father for the first time. Jared had to settle for the camera on his cell phone and he dazzled Jensen with the flash just before the nurse came in.  
  
“I can’t see, you idiot!” Jensen glared at Jared and he smiled innocently.  
  
“I got somebody for you to meet.” The nurse told Tristan as she wheeled his crib into the room and gently lifted the baby into her arms to nestle him in Jensen’s.  
  
“Oh, god.” Jensen looked like he was about to burst into great blubbering sobs and Jared snapped a picture before that happened. “Hi, Tris.” He sniffled and pressed a shaky kiss on the baby’s forehead. “I’m your daddy.”  
  
Jared had to fight really hard to hold back his own tears as he watched the new father with his son. The baby looked at ease in Jensen’s arms. He was a natural and his parental instincts kicked in without much gentle prodding from the doctors. He hummed softly to Tristan as the baby looked up at him and curled his fingers around Jensen’s pinky finger before closing his eyes and falling asleep.  
  
That moment, with Jensen cradling his son in his arms and looking bruised and proud at the same time was the moment that Jared fell in love. It didn’t really take him by surprise. One minute he was watching his friend holding his son and the next he was watching the young man that he loved sing quietly to his child.  
  
It was the moment that Jared knew he was fucked. Well and truly fucked.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jensen was released from the hospital after a few days and Jared stood proudly at his side as he bought Tristan home for the first time. The baby would be sharing his bedroom with Jensen at Jensen’s parents’ house because there was no spare bedroom available for him. Plus, Jensen would be taking the baby to school half way across the country in the fall so there wasn’t much point in making room for Tristan, if he would only be there over the holidays.  
  
Jared was wielding a video camera and following their every move while Jensen kept batting at him every few seconds. Tristan was happily cuddled up in his father’s arms and Jensen had never looked happier while Donna had never looked more upset at the thought of her son being a single father. Jared made extra sure that she wasn’t in many of the shots.  
  
“Welcome to your first home, Tris.” Jensen grinned as he stepped through the door.  
  
Tristan couldn’t look more bored if he tried and it made Jared laugh. Donna busied herself in the kitchen and Jensen let out a heavy sigh. The sooner they got to college, the better. Alan was trying, though, and he greeted his grandson with a kiss on the forehead and patted his son on the back. It was more than Jensen could have hoped for and Jared was thankful that he at least had one parent who was supportive.  
  
“Hey, if it isn’t the little alien.” Josh chuckled and came to greet the newborn.  
  
“That is your nephew,  _not_  an alien.” Jensen scolded.  
  
“Who says that I wasn’t talking about you?” Josh teased playfully and Jared barely contained a snort of laughter.  
  
“The both of you can go duck yourselves.” Jensen muttered as Josh and Jared exchanged a look.  
  
“Duck ourselves?” Josh said with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“I’m aiming to not swear around my child.” Jensen said, as if it was obvious.  
  
“That’s pretty ducking impressive.” Josh giggled.  
  
“I don’t have a ducking clue how you came up with it.” Jared smirked.  
  
“You know what? Fuck you both!” Jensen covered Tristan’s ear with one hand and headed towards his bedroom, leaving Josh and Jared laughing their asses off in the hallway.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Time passed quickly with a new baby to keep things interesting and, before they knew it, three months had passed and it was only two weeks before they stared college. They were catching a plane to LA after dinner so that Tristan could hopefully sleep through the flight. They had originally planned on driving there but nobody wants to sit in a car for hours and hours with a baby. They planned on getting to their new place without killing something so it was important that they took the shortest route possible.  
  
They eventually chose a house to live in instead of an apartment because two big guys and a baby couldn’t cohabite in such a small living space. It was more expensive than an apartment but Jared had been offered a paid job at the shelter near their new home so both he and Jensen would be bringing in money and both of their parents had offered to help whenever they needed it. The house was a short walk from campus and was just minutes away from a day care center that Jensen could take Tristan to when he and Jared both had classes. It had a yard big enough for Jared to get a dog and a living room big enough for Jensen to get a foosball table. It was going to be great.  
  
Jared was finally all packed and he decided to head over to Jensen’s because his friend was the worst packer ever, so, if they had any chance of being on their plane on time then he needed to help Jensen pack.  
  
One thing he hadn’t expected, though, was for him to let himself into Jensen’s house and find it empty and quiet except for a baby crying loudly upstairs. Jared climbed the stairs and pushed the door open to Jensen’s room. Tristan was crying and Jensen was pacing around the room with the baby in his arms, rocking him and crying right back at his son. It broke Jared’s heart to see his friend so wrecked and he crossed the room in two big strides to put a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. Jensen seemed to snap out of his daze and he turned wide eyes towards him.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Jared asked softly.  
  
“He won’t stop crying.” Jensen cried. “Why won’t he stop crying? He’s been crying all night and all morning and I just can’t do it, Jay!”  
  
“Hey, here let me take him.” Jared gently pried the wailing baby from his friend’s arms and held him close, rocking him in his arms.  
  
“He won’t stop.” Jensen sobbed. “Why won’t he stop, Jay?”  
  
“Go take a shower. Calm yourself down and take a breather. I’ll take care of Tris. You take care of you. Ok?” Jared shushed the baby and pressed a kiss against his forehead.  
  
Jensen sniffled and nodded, rushing into the bathroom, as if he couldn’t get out of there quick enough. Jared bounced the baby in his arms and took him downstairs and out into the garden to leave Jensen with some peace and quiet. Raising a baby is hard enough with two parents and Jensen was doing it on his own. He deserved a break and Jared was happy to give it to him. Especially when his parents were at work and Josh was at college.  
  
“Hey, Tris. Why so sad?” Jared asked and smiled when Tristan calmed down a little.  
  
It was peaceful outside. Birds were singing and there was a slight breeze but otherwise it was silent and Tristan seemed to appreciate it. Tristan crying had made Jensen cry and Jensen crying had made Tristan cry even more. It was a vicious circle and it sucked that Jensen was on his own. He couldn’t wait to get to LA so that he could help Jensen out himself when he needed it. He vowed that he’d never let his friend down.  
  
“He’s quiet.” Jensen whispered in awe a half hour later as he sat next to Jared on the porch.  
  
“Tired himself out.” Jared smiled at his friend.  
  
Jensen was wrapped in a soft hooded sweatshirt that was too big for him and a pair of sweat pants that were too long and actually were probably Jared’s. Actually, they were both probably Jared's but he couldn't complain because Jensen looked good. It was the first time that Jared had really considered him to be anything more than a friend. He was incredibly attractive and Jared was in love. Truly in love with this young man. He loved Jensen and he loved his son. He loved them both and wanted them in his life. He wasn’t an idiot, though, and he’d gladly take them any way that they’d have him. Even if that meant simply being friends.

 

-x-

  
**Part 3**

-x-

  
“Shotgun!” Jared declared and raced into the first bedroom he saw while Jensen simply rolled his eyes and went about getting Tristan settled in a makeshift crib for the night.  
  
“You can’t shotgun a bedroom.” Jensen told him but Jared ignored him and began unpacking what he’d been able to fit into a suitcase.  
  
They had the rest of their things coming with a moving van. Jared's parents had paid for him to get his truck delivered and Jensen had bitched and moaned until they managed to get his Impala in on the deal too. It would take a couple of days for their things to get there but they were lucky as the house had various pieces of furniture. Each bedroom had a bed, a dresser and a closet while the living room had a crappy small TV and a beat up couch and Tristan’s room had a basic crib that would have to suffice until his crib from home got there. The kitchen was recently refurbished and was the most impressive part of the house. It had a breakfast bar and a refrigerator that could hold enough food to feed Jared for a whole week.  
  
Jared was pleased with his unpacking and went ahead in search of Jensen. He had to do a double take when he found his friend though and tried his best to kick himself.  
  
“You know how shotgun rules don’t apply…” Jared drew out the words to make them sound pleading but Jensen just laughed as he went about unpacking his own suitcase.  
  
“It’s not my fault that you called shotgun on the smaller room.” Jensen laughed. “Should have thought about that first.”  
  
“But you get two bedrooms. Tristan’s bedroom totally counts as yours and then there’s little old me in the little old bedroom.” Jared pouted.  
  
“Dry ‘em.” Jensen patted Jared’s cheek and handed him a tissue.  
  
“I’m not crying, you ass.” Jared grumbled and dropped down onto Jensen’s bed, which was typically more comfortable than Jared’s.  
  
“If you plan on laying there until I give up the room then you’ll be sorely disappointed.” Jensen told him and smacked him on the ass with a twirled up tee shirt. It whipped through the air and Jared let out a yelp when it connected with his backside. He rolled over to get away from Jensen and fell off the bed, causing Jensen to burst into a fit of giggles.  
  
“That hurt.” Jared groaned and rubbed at the bump on his head from hitting the nightstand on the way down.  
  
“Funny, though.” Jensen shrugged.  
  
“You suck,” Jared huffed and climbed back onto the bed.  
  
“If you fall asleep there, then I ain’t carrying your ass out of here,” Jensen warned.  
  
“Oh, good.” Jared smirked as he cuddled up to the pillow under his head. “I can stay here then.”  
  
“I’ll just crash out next to you.” Jensen said and Jared didn’t see anything unappealing with that. “Tristan  _will_  wake you up crying.”  
  
“I doubt that.” Jared laughed. “I’d sleep through a nuclear bomb.”  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Unfortunately a nuclear bomb is peaceful compared to a crying baby and Jared really regretted falling asleep in Jensen’s room when he ended up helping Jensen make a bottle and change a diaper at three thirty in the morning. Tristan was so lucky that he was cute.  
  
Once an actual decent time in the morning arrived, they decided to explore their surroundings. Jared called his parents first to let them know they'd arrived safely while Jensen just fired off a text to Josh and his dad. It was sad that Jensen's mom wouldn't come around but, at least, he had two people who still cared for him.  
  
They ate breakfast at their new local café as they hadn’t had time to go shopping yet. The waiter was eying Jared and clearly flirting but Jared didn’t want him to get his hopes up and remained friendly and uninterested. He instead focused on making baby noises at Tristan in his stroller while Jensen watched him fondly with a mouth full of pancakes.  
  
“You were totally in there.” Jensen nodded towards the waiter.  
  
“Yeah, but I wanna keep my options open.” Jared shrugged. “After my last clusterfuck of a relationship, I think it’s important that I take it slow.”  
  
“I see your point. You do suck.” Jensen grinned and Jared kicked him under the table, not missing the disappointment in the waiter’s eyes when he seemed to guess that they were an item.  
  
After breakfast they headed over to the day care center that Tristan would go to whenever Jensen or Jared were unable to stay home. Their schedules were pretty similar so it would sadly end up with Tristan going to the center at least three times in the week and Jensen was a little reluctant to leave him. He felt much better about it when he actually got to meet the person looking after his son, though, Sophia filled him with confidence.  
  
“Oh, don’t worry about a thing.” She assured him. “I’m working here to help with my child psychology degree so I have a genuine love for children and have a knack for figuring out what’s wrong. I’m sure me and Tristan will get along great.”  
  
The girl had bigger dimples than Jared and was most likely the girl who would be able to turn Jared straight. She was perfect. She was funny and smart and gorgeous and he could quite easily see Jensen falling in love with her. Especially when Jared took a step back to see Jensen and Sophia laughing together as she cradled Tristan in her arms. They looked like a family and Jared wanted to hate Sophia but he couldn’t.  
  
“Tris, I’m sorry to tell you this buddy but you’re stinky!” Sophia giggled. “I think you want your daddy.” She handed him back to Jensen with a grin.  
  
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” Jensen laughed and grabbed Tristan’s diaper bag. “I’ll bag it up and bring it out just for you!” He teased and headed for the changing room, leaving Sophia and Jared alone.  
  
“Don’t worry.” Sophia assured him. “He’s all yours.”  
  
“What?” Jared gaped at her.  
  
“I’m training to be a psychologist.” She shrugged. “And, you know, I have eyes.”  
  
“I’m that obvious?” Jared had thought he was being subtle.  
  
“You couldn’t be more obvious if you were holding a neon sign saying ‘I love him!’ with a big arrow pointed to the guy.” She smirked. “Don’t worry. The first code of friendship is you don’t go after the guy your friend is in love with.”  
  
“Friendship?” Jared raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Oh, yeah.” She beamed and linked her arm through his. “We’re going to be epic friends, you and I.”  
  
“How do you figure?”  
  
“You’ve got good taste and I have low standards.” She chuckled and Jared couldn’t fight the laugh that bubbled up inside of him. He was wrong to doubt this girl. She was one of the good ones.  
  
“Oh honey, you’re barking up the wrong tree there.” Jensen said sympathetically as he emerged from the bathroom with a freshly scented Tristan. “Unless there’s a gun in your pocket.”  
  
“Mr Ackles, this is a day care center!” Sophia gasped in mock horror. “It’s obviously a bottle!”  
  
They all cracked up at the joke and gained the attention of a few members of staff who were setting up for the start of the day. Sophia smiled sweetly at them when they frowned in disapproval and Jared pasted on an apologetic puppy dog face that worked wonders.  
  
“So, would you like me to leave you here, too?” Jensen asked Jared and Sophia elbowed him while she chuckled.  
  
“I’m your new best friend.” She told him.  
  
“Oh, really?” Jensen raised a questioning eyebrow.  
  
“Yes. You’re both lucky to have me.”  
  
“And why are you so interested in being our friend anyway?” Jared added.  
  
“Because you’re both hot and one of you is gay while the other has the whole admirable single father image. You need a hot girl and a potential fag hag to complete the look you have going on.” She said as if it was obvious.  
  
“Can I keep her?” Jared asked Jensen as he pulled Sophia into a hug. “She’s awesome.”  
  
“She’s also human, Jared. She’s not a pet.” Jensen told him as if he was explaining it to a small child.  
  
Jared made a big show of pouting while Sophia giggled at their antics. They’d found instant friendship in the girl and Jared felt awful for judging her so quickly. She was clearly going to be an amazing friend and they were quick to exchange numbers and get out of her way before her less fun colleagues started yelling at them.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They discovered that Sophia lived a few houses away from them and Jensen had to do a double take when he saw her taking her trash out at the same time as him. She beamed and waved, checking that her door was locked, before crossing the street and pulling him into a hug.  
  
“Hey!” She chirped. “I didn’t know you lived here.”  
  
“You didn’t read Tristan’s file? I’m ashamed.” Jensen laughed.  
  
“I’m not some crazy stalker! Besides, I don’t get to know addresses. That’s reserved for the important people. I’m stuck with having access to phone numbers and doctor’s information.” She pulled an over exaggerated sad face.  
  
“You poor soul.” Jensen petted her on the head and she slapped his hand away.  
  
“You suck.” She huffed and let herself into the house where Jared was busy doing some kind of warped puppet show for Tristan. “Well, that’s just adorable!”  
  
Jared’s gaze snapped up to her and he flushed, hiding behind the stuffed animals he’d been playing with. “Awkward.”  
  
“It really is cute.” She assured him. “Looks like we’re neighbours!”  
  
Jared groaned. “Just when I thought I could escape from you.”  
  
“Sorry, but you’re stuck with me!” She beamed. “When do you boys start classes?”  
  
“Tomorrow morning.” Jensen sighed. “We both have to be in at the same time so I’m not looking forward to leaving Tris.”  
  
“He’ll be fine.” Sophia promised. “I’m working tomorrow so I’ll take good care of him.”  
  
Jensen didn’t feel any better. He liked Sophia and was beginning to trust her but the thought of leaving Tristan on his own for the first time was a scary one and he didn’t want to do it, even though he knew that he’d have to. He’d left Tristan with Jared before while he went out to the store or Jared took him for a walk but that was different. That was Jared and he trusted Jared with his life. He knew that Jared wouldn’t let anything bad happen. Logically, he knew that Sophia wouldn’t let anything bad happen, either, but that didn’t fill him with much hope.  
  
He was terrified to be parted from his son. He was scared that he’d drop him off at the day care center and that Tristan wouldn’t be there when he came to pick him up. What if Danneel changed her mind and the boy he’d loved and raised since he was born was taken from him? The law would be on his side if that were to happen but it was one of those things that still didn’t stop him worrying. He had hope, though, that everything would be fine. He had to believe that.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jared had a map glued to his hand and he was stumbling around the campus in search of something that resembled a lecture hall. At that point, he’d have settled for finding any class and taking that just to make his life easier but he just couldn’t find one. He kind of hated Jensen for having the initiative to take Tris for a walk in his stroller yesterday so that he could familiarise himself with the campus. Then, again, Jensen was a father so he was supposed to be smart. Jared was more than happy being the dumbass who couldn’t find one single classroom.  
  
“Where you heading?” Sophia appeared at his side and he let out a startled squeak that she found hilarious.  
  
“Shouldn’t you be looking after Tris?” Jared frowned, knowing that Jensen had left the child with Sophia just an hour earlier.  
  
“He’s fine at the center. I got sent out on a run to get more of those gross biscuits that babies like.” She waved it off easily. “I might as well help you while I’m doing that. What’s up?”  
  
“I can’t find my English class.” Jared was fully prepared to admit defeat.  
  
“Probably because you’re by the dorms and nowhere near the classrooms.” Sophia pointed out and Jared gaped at her. “You’re going in the opposite direction.”  
  
Jared spun on his heels and started heading back the way he just came while Sophia laughed and caught up with him. She was leading the way but wasn’t walking in front of Jared and it was doing wonders for his ego. It looked like he knew where he was going and wasn’t the stupid freshman following behind the pretty girl who was escorting him to class because he got lost. He was already very late and he was just going to look like an idiot so he was tempted to just not show up and start classes tomorrow. He wouldn’t miss much on the first day anyway.  
  
“Oh, wow.” Sophia gasped next to him and Jared turned to look at her. “Sex on legs at one o’clock.”  
  
Jared looked around and his eyes widened when he caught the person she was staring at. The guy was walking towards them seemingly unaware that he’d caught their attention. Sophia was making a dramatic motion of fanning herself and Jared was secretly hoping for the ground to swallow him whole. He hoped that they could get away but wasn’t quite so lucky as the guy got closer and looked up. His eyes widened and he froze when he caught sight of Jared.  
  
“Chad.” Jared whispered and silently begged the ground to hurry the fuck up with swallowing him.  
  
“You know him?” Sophia asked excitedly before feigning nonchalance. “I mean… I’m Sophia.” She held out her hand for Chad to take and he seemed to shake it on auto pilot while still staring at Jared.  
  
“Ugh, no way. Why can’t I find any straight boys?” Sophia huffed in annoyance but quickly gained her composure. “Jared’s totally in love with his friend so you can’t have him, but, I’m up for grabs.”  
  
Jared was going to claw his way into the ground if it didn’t swallow him because this just wasn’t fair. He knew that he was an asshole to Chad but he thought he left all of that chaos back home. He felt bad enough and, if Chad was going to this school, then he’d no doubt be feeling guilty on a daily basis. Surely he didn’t deserve that… ok, maybe he did a little but he was sorry, damn it!  
  
“Oh, so he’s in love now.” Chad rolled his eyes. “He’s with Jensen. Of course, he is.”  
  
Chad moved to step around them but Jared held out his hand. “Wait. You never gave me a chance to explain.”  
  
“Why should I have given you a chance?” Chad snapped back. “I made everything perfect and told you that I  _loved_  you and what did you do? You practically threw it in my face!”  
  
“I didn’t mean to do that!” Jared argued. “You surprised the hell out of me! I thought we were casual and then I suddenly found out that you were serious about us. How did you expect me to react?”  
  
“A year long relationship isn’t casual.” Chad pointed out in disbelief. “At first, it was, but then it got real for me.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jared asked, much calmer now. “If I’d known that you were getting serious, then maybe I’d have let myself become attached to you. Maybe I’d have let myself love you.”  
  
“You loved Jensen.” Chad stated, fully believing those words. “I never stood a chance.”  
  
Sophia was trying desperately hard to focus on anything but them and Jared was trying to not lash out a Chad’s words while Chad looked like he was barely holding it together. He was right. Jared loved Jensen. He loved his friend more than he could imagine and there was no comparing with that but there was a big problem. Jensen was straight. He really owed it to himself to move on and not have his heart broken when Jensen finally decided to start dating again.  
  
“I don’t love Jensen.” Jared lied.  
  
“Your friend said you’re in love.” Chad said, motioning towards Sophia.  
  
“I just really want them to hook up.” Sophia blushed. “They’re hot.” Jared owed her the biggest bunch of flowers he could find for covering for him.  
  
“What’re you doing here?” Jared swiftly changed the subject. “You never told me you were coming here.”  
  
“I planned on coming to college with you before anything even started between us and then, when we got together, it just made more sense. I’d already accepted my place when we broke up so I couldn’t exactly not come here.” Chad was so honest that Jared hated himself a little bit more.  
  
“I’m sorry. I’ve been such an asshole.” Jared deeply regretted hurting his friend. He wished he’d have the chance to make it up to him some time.  
  
“It’s in the past.” Chad shrugged like it was nothing but Jared knew better. Jared knew him better than any of Chad’s other friends and it hit him. Jensen wasn’t the only person he knew everything about. He’d fucked up in more ways than he’d ever thought.  
  
“No, it’s not.” Jared grabbed onto Chad as he turned to leave and pulled him into his arms, holding him tight when his old friend tried to push him away. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”  
  
Something in Chad seemed to break at the words and he sagged in Jared’s arms, clutching desperately at him while trying not to cry. Jared hadn’t known just how serious Chad was and it killed him to see his friend so upset. Chad never showed any hints of weakness and Jared was the biggest douchebag on Earth for being the one to hurt him.  
  
He pulled back a little to look into his friend’s eyes and brushed his thumb underneath one eye as a tear threatened to escape. He really cared for this boy and, while he wasn’t Jensen, he was still very important to him. He then did something that would either make him extremely happy or end with a lot of regret. He kissed him.  
  
Chad gasped into the kiss but he didn’t pull away. He was still clutching onto Jared as if his life depended on it and Jared felt relief rush through him as Chad didn’t punch him. The kiss was soft and chaste. Jared pulled away before it could deepen to see Chad looking up at him with wide eyes. Sophia was just looking awkward and had moved away from them to give them some privacy. She gave Jared a reassuring smile but it didn’t do much to reassure him.  
  
“I’m truly sorry,” Jared whispered solemnly, and bit at his lip nervously.  
  
“It’s ok.” Chad said in a daze.  
  
“Do you think we could maybe talk sometime?” Jared asked hesitantly. “Go for a coffee or something.”  
  
“Yeah.” Chad nodded. “A coffee would be great.”  
  
“You still have the same number?” Jared asked, thankful when Chad nodded once more. “I’ll call you.”  
  
“Ok.” Chad gave him a wary smile and Jared let a hesitant smile cross his own lips. “See you soon.”  
  
Jared nodded and watched him leave, unsure if he’d just made a mistake or not. A sharp pain in his arm caused him to yelp and he looked down at Sophia who was glaring up at him. She yelled at him for not telling her that he had a dramatic love life with a guy even hotter than Jensen. Even though he’d only known her for a week and hadn’t exactly had chance to tell her his deepest secrets, she was still mad that he’d managed to keep Chad to himself. He wondered what the hell he’d just got himself into.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Chad?” Jensen’s jaw dropped when Jared told him the story of his day.  
  
“I know right.” Jared sighed and fell onto the couch, pulling Tristan into his arms when he reached out his hands towards him and started babbling in his baby talk to get Jared’s attention.  
  
“I know the guy loves you and all that but, Jay, you could do better.” Jensen said as he sat down next to them.  
  
Jared didn’t know how to take that. On the one hand, he wanted to flail because Jensen thinks he’s good enough for someone who Jensen sees as great but, on the other hand, he likes Chad and Jensen had essentially dissed him as below Jared’s league. Tristan wiggled in his arms to distract him and he sat him up so that he faced Jensen. At four months, he was already gaining interest in sitting up. It was adorable to see him perched on the couch staring at the TV before toppling over onto the cushions after a few minutes and being all dramatic until either Jared or Jensen helped him back up again. He’d only just mastered rolling over so it would be a few more months before he could sit on his own but it was too damn cute to watch him try.  
  
Tristan giggled gleefully when his daddy pulled a funny face and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose and Jared felt himself falling harder for the wrong person. His best friend was straight and a single father. He was raising a baby with an absent mother and Jared was a part of Tristan’s life, too. He always would be and Tristan counted on him. He couldn’t fuck that up by going after Jensen.  
  
“How was his first day at the center?” Jared asked, not so swiftly changing the subject.  
  
“He had a great time.” Jensen beamed. “Sophia said he had fun and was happy to sit in this little blow up baby play thing all day. You know that one I thought about getting him one for Christmas with all the lights and music. It’s way too expensive, though, so it’s great that he gets to have one at the center.”  
  
“That’s awesome, Jen.” Jared was proud of the kid. He didn’t think he would have done so well if he was left with strangers at that age. “You’re such a good boy.” He told Tris, blowing a raspberry on his cheek when he did so.  
  
Tristan let out a happy little squeal and wriggled towards Jensen who took him happily. It shouldn’t have worked, two kids fresh out of high school and raising a baby as friends, but it did. It worked for them and it was crazy. They had become a little family and Jared wouldn’t trade that in for the world. He was truly happy where he was and he had no intention of changing that any time soon.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jared met up with Chad a couple of days later. They’d taken the time to cool off after their last encounter and calm down enough to meet each other in a public place without verbally assaulting each other. A few tears were shed as they tried to work things out but nothing major. In the end, they decided that Jared was a huge part of Jensen and Tristan’s life and that wasn’t going to change for anybody. Chad couldn’t handle that.  
  
So, instead of trying to fix things, they settled on trying to be friends. If Chad felt like Jared was going to cheat every time he went home, then it wasn’t worth building a relationship. It would be poison and Jared didn’t want that type of relationship to be around a child. Tristan wasn’t his kid but Jared was the only other constant in his life apart from Jensen and Jared had to take that into consideration. All of his actions were taken with Tristan’s best interests at heart and he was so thankful that Chad understood that.  
  
It wasn’t easy to give up on the relationship with the guy who loved him but it wasn’t about Jared. There was a four month old child at home and Jared had him to think about. He’d accepted his role in Tristan’s life when he moved into the house with Jensen. Even if he didn’t want to, he would still have to do everything in his power to look out for that child. It was for the best that he and Chad remained friends instead of anything more, for both of their sakes.  
  
“Sophia’s having a party next weekend.” Jared said after he ordered his third coffee. “You should come. She’s great and I’m sure she throws killer parties if her personality is anything to go by.”  
  
“That was the girl we made really awkward the other day, right?” Chad laughed softly. “I guess I could come. It’ll give me the chance to apologise in person.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. She thinks you’re hot so I’m sure she was more than happy to stare at you.” Jared was going to die at the hands of a tiny brunette if he didn’t stop talking.  
  
“She does?” Chad looked almost hopeful. “She was pretty beautiful.”  
  
“You sap.” Jared teased.  
  
It was surprising how natural the conversation flowed when they were no longer focusing on their relationship and instead on their friendship. Perhaps that’s where they made the mistake. They should have stayed friends all along. This was the reason he’d never try anything with Jensen. Jensen followed his heart and wouldn’t be quite so forgiving if they fucked it up.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Time seemed to move quickly after that. School became hectic and both Jared and Jensen were falling asleep on their feet with all the studying they had to do along with trying to juggle their jobs and a baby. Tristan continued to grow and steal their hearts. Chad and Sophia seemed to be getting closer and closer to an actual date while Jared and Chad were right back to their original friendship. Time made everything progress and heal. It was going so quickly, in fact, that neither Jared nor Jensen could stop and catch their breath.  
  
Before they knew it, the months had faded from September to December and they were hurtling towards Christmas.  
  
Tristan had just mastered sitting up on his own and Jensen was always perched nearby with a camera to dazzle the poor child with the flash every time he happened to do something Jensen deemed worthy of remembering. Which, with Jensen being the overly proud parent that he was, happened every few minutes.  
  
“He’s sitting up so well now!” Jensen gushed with excessive pride as he watched his son sitting in front of the TV and mimicking some of the sounds.  
  
“Of course, he is. He had his Uncle Jared to help him.” Jared shrugged.  
  
“Oh, and I do nothing?” Jensen raised an eyebrow.  
  
“You’re not as lazy as me.” Jared argued. “I’m the master of sitting on my ass and watching TV.”  
  
“If he were copying you, then he’d be a massive pain in my butt. Then again, all he does is babble to himself so I guess he’s already learnt all he can from you.” Jensen teased.  
  
“Butt? Really, Jen? I do love this no swearing thing.” Jared laughed when Jensen kicked out at him. “We need to go shopping.”  
  
“We do?”  
  
“Dude. It’s Tristan’s first Christmas. We’re already a week into December and we don’t even have a tree yet!” Jared pulled a scandalised expression. “We’re going to give the North Pole competition with how festive this place is going to be.”  
  
Jared could see how grateful his friend was at the gesture. He knew how much Jensen worried about money and making things perfect for Tristan so it clearly meant a lot to him that Jared would only eat three meals a day instead of five so that Tristan could have an amazing first Christmas. They weren’t travelling home this year. Jensen's mom still hadn't come around, plus his dad and brother hadn't made any effort to visit, so they decided to stay put. It was too far with a seven month old baby anyway and they were too tired from juggling school and work to want to travel so they had decided to spend Christmas together in their home. Jared was determined to make it a good one.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They’d be lucky if they were able to feed themselves with the amount of money they’d spent on Christmas shopping. Tristan was over at Sophia’s while Jared dragged Jensen to every store in a five mile radius. They bought a tree and all the trimmings, presents for their friends and Tristan, along with a turkey that neither of them knew how to cook. But it had one of those sticks in it that popped out when it was done so Jared assured Jensen that they’d be fine.  
  
“We’re going to starve.” Jensen stated when they got home. “I think my bank balance is actually crying right now.”  
  
“Relax.” Jared waved him off. “We get paid next week.”  
  
“Oh, so we only have to starve for a week then.” Jensen feigned excitement. “I can hardly wait!”  
  
“Shut up.” Jared rolled his eyes. “I’ve got it covered.”  
  
Jared shooed Jensen out of the house to go and get Tristan so that they could decorate the place. Even though Tristan wouldn’t be able to help this year, he would still be able to play with the baubles and tinsel until they got it onto the tree. They wouldn’t be those over obsessive people who wouldn’t let the child anywhere near the tree for the fear that they’d knock it over. Nope, Jared would make damn sure that Tristan was putting the angel on top of the tree.  
  
Tristan let out a high pitched squeal of happiness when Jensen gave him a bauble to play with. He clutched it tight to his chest and flailed his arms around excitedly. Jensen attacked him with a camera every time he moved into a different position and Jared just hid his smile behind decorating the tree.  
  
The baby wasn’t quite a baby anymore. He was sitting up and getting ready to start crawling soon. Jared was sure he’d start talking any day now and Jensen kept his video camera fully charged so that he wouldn’t miss the occasion. Jared didn’t know what was cuter, Tristan making his milestones or Jensen documenting them.  
  
“Can you say, ‘Santa’?” Jensen asked.  
  
“Santa.” Jared replied easily.  
  
“Not you!” Jensen rolled his eyes and threw a bauble at Jared. “Come on, Tris, say, ‘Santa’. San-ta.”  
  
Tristan made some noises that may or may not have been an attempt at talking but he definitely didn’t say Santa, no matter what Jensen said. The proud father pulled Tristan into his arms and swirled him around.  
  
“You know, he didn’t quite say…” Jensen’s firm glare cut him off and Jared feigned enthusiasm. “Well done, Tris!”  
  
“He’s going to talk soon. I can feel it.” Jensen said with determination as he put Tristan back down on the couch where he was happy to get to play with the Christmas decorations again.  
  
“It’ll happen.” Jared agreed.  
  
“Come on, buddy.” Jensen pleaded. “Say da-da.”  
  
Tristan didn’t even make an attempt to repeat his father this time and Jensen let out a loud sigh of disappointment that lasted all of thirty seconds before Jared asked him to help Tris put the angel on the tree. Turns out that seven month old children don’t have the best coordination and after several attempts that nearly resulted in knocking the tree over, Jensen gave Tris a helping hand.  
  
“It’s perfect.” Jensen whispered when it was all done and Tristan was passed out in his arms, sleeping soundly. “Thank you, Jay.”  
  
“You’re welcome.” Jared smiled at his friend. “We deserve a good Christmas.”  
  
“Yeah. We do.”  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sophia was unfortunate enough to be stuck in the car with Jensen as she helped him try and pick out the perfect Christmas present for Jared. She loved his classic car but it sounded like a dying tractor whenever Jensen accelerated and she was beginning to lose her hearing.  
  
Jensen and Sophia drove around for a long time before Jensen gave up and headed in the direction of the only present he could agree with. He had an idea of what he was going to buy his friend but he needed Sophia’s help to make the final choice. They’d been living together for a few months now and Jared had been a saint. He’d babysat Tristan whenever he didn’t have a class and Jensen did. He even offered to take him to the park or to the store whenever he went so that Jensen could have a little bit of down time by himself. His best friend deserved the mother of all Christmas presents.  
  
“Why do boys wait until Christmas Eve to buy presents?” Sophia muttered. “The mall is an actual nightmare on Christmas Eve.”  
  
“We’re not going to the mall.”  
  
“Then where are we going?” Sophia paused and grinned. “You’re getting your boyfriend a puppy?” She squeaked when they pulled up at the animal shelter that both he and Jared worked at.  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Jensen frowned because he’d never even thought of Jared like that.  
  
“Not yet.” Sophia admitted. “But, once you come to terms with it, he will be.”  
  
“I’m into boobs.” Jensen stated when it became obvious that Sophia was being quite serious.  
  
“It’s ok.” She grinned. “One day, you’ll wake up.”  
  
“So you’re rooting for a big gay romance between me and my friend?” Jensen snorted as they climbed out of the car. “First of all, I’m not gay. Second of all, Jared actually has standards and his single parent friend doesn’t reach those standards.”  
  
“Where is Jared right now?” Sophia enquired.  
  
“He’s looking after Tristan.” Jensen replied. “I think he took him for a walk to the park.”  
  
“Uh, huh.” She chuckled. “Your son, right?”  
  
“Yeah.” Jensen drew out the word and raised an eyebrow.  
  
“You’re playing happy families, you idiot!” She slapped him on the arm affectionately. “Jared isn’t babysitting. He’s just staying home and looking after Tris.”  
  
“Is there a difference?”  
  
“Do you babysit Tris?”  
  
“Well, no. He’s my son.”  
  
“Exactly!” She gave him a ‘well duh!’ look but it really didn’t help. Jensen was still confused but he didn’t have any more time to think on it because the receptionist greeted them and lead them back into the kennels. He had a decision to make.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Jen, I get the blindfold but I really wish you didn’t make me cross the street whilst wearing it. It’s obvious we’re going to Sophia’s.” Jared held onto Jensen’s arm as they slowly made their way to their neighbour’s house on Christmas morning.  
  
“I won’t let a car hit you.” Jensen assured him as he clutched Tristan tight to his body.  
  
“Well, now I feel safe.” Jared deadpanned.  
  
“Do you want your present?” Jensen threatened.  
  
“You’re my bestest, best friend ever, Jensen!” Jared said sweetly.  
  
“Of course, I am.” Jensen muttered and knocked on Sophia’s door.  
  
Sophia opened the door with a huge grin on her face and she gently took Tristan from Jensen’s arms so that he could lead Jared into the living room to give him his present in private. Jared cursed as he stumped his toe on the coffee table and Jensen apologised, handing him a candy cane from the tree to make him feel better. Unsurprisingly, Jared’s mood dramatically increased with the sweet treat in his grasp.  
  
“Ok, sit here.” Jensen guided Jared to sit on the couch and kneeled in front of him. He shuffled around for a few moments before taking a deep breath. “Now, open your eyes.”  
  
Jared opened his eyes and he gasped when he caught sight of his present. Jensen was kneeling in front of him and clutching tightly onto two puppies. One of them was scrambling to get to Jared and was successfully escaping Jensen’s clutches while the other one had a big pink bow around its neck and was quite happily snuggling close into the crook of Jensen’s arm.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Jay.” Jensen whispered and let the hyper puppy clamber onto Jared’s lap.  
  
“Oh my god!” Jared couldn’t help but smile at the happy puppy as he wiggled his butt and covered Jared’s chin in kisses while yipping excitedly.  
  
“He’s called Harley. He’s a menace.” Jensen gestured to the puppy gnawing on Jared’s fingers. “And this girl doesn’t have a name yet.”  
  
Jared reached a hand out to the puppy that was falling asleep in Jensen’s arms and Jensen reached over to take hold of Harley so that Jared could pick up the other puppy. Harley looked severely annoyed to be taken away from his new human but he forgot all about it when Jensen produced a perfectly good hand to chew on.  
  
“Hey, sweet girl.” Jared cooed and cradled the puppy in his arms. “You’re gorgeous.”  
  
The puppy sneezed and scared herself, causing both young men to chuckle and Harley to let out a curious bark. She had huge ears that she’d probably never grow into, one pointed up and the other bent. It was an adorable look for her. She looked like some sort of shepherd mix but Jared couldn’t be sure. Harley, on the other hand, didn’t look like a mutt.  
  
“He’s a Mastiff.” Jensen explained and Jared’s eyes widened.  
  
“He’s going to be bigger than me!” Jared gaped.  
  
“Well it makes sense that a giant man would have a giant dog.” Jensen grinned. “Now, this girl needs a name.”  
  
Jared held the puppy up in his arms and beamed when she hesitantly licked out at his nose. “Aw!” He laughed and nudged his nose against hers. “I think I’m going to call you Sadie.”  
  
“A pretty name for a pretty lady.” Sophia said as she entered the room.  
  
The puppies seemed to have gotten used to her presence and they wagged their tails happily when she greeted them. Tristan looked mesmerised by the fluffy little creatures and he made grabby hands towards his daddy, almost jealous that all of his attention was taken up by the intruding creature.  
  
“Tris, come look at the doggies.” Jensen held Tristan close to the puppies, allowing his son to gently touch their fur.  
  
Tristan clapped his hands excitedly and was not really all that gentle when he tried to pet Sadie. The puppy looked annoyed at the attack but she seemed to sense that the tiny human knew no better and refrained from showing off her puppy teeth. Harley, on the other hand, had no problem with latching his teeth onto Tristan’s tee shirt and tugging it playfully.  
  
“Harley,” Jensen sighed and tapped the dog on the nose. “No.”  
  
Harley looked stunned that Jensen would dare scold him but Tristan was giggling happily as Jared held his hand while Sadie licked it happily, wagging her tail as she did so. The child must have still had part of his breakfast still on his hands because it very quickly caught Harley’s attention, too.  
  
“Suckers for food. Just like their daddy.” Jensen muttered, causing both Jared and Sophia to laugh.  
  
“Da dada.” Tristan mimicked and Jensen froze.  
  
“Tris, what did you just say?” He asked tentatively, reaching out for his son.  
  
Tristan pointed at Jensen. “Da dadada!”  
  
“Yes!” Jensen beamed proudly and pulled his son into his arms. “That’s right, baby! I’m your dada.”  
  
“Dada!” Tristan said happily to himself while Jensen tried not to cry.  
  
“I don’t have my video camera!” Jensen whined. The one time it wasn’t glued to his hand was the time his son decided to say his first words.  
  
“I’m on it!” Sophia yelled from behind them. She was wielding a video camera that had been rolling since she’d walked into the room. Jensen was going to buy her a freaking pony for that.  
  
“You’re so clever!” Jared told the child when Jensen sat down next to him on the couch.  
  
Tristan smiled almost smugly to himself before reaching out to Jared. “Dada.”  
  
This time Jensen froze for a completely different reason and he wasn’t the only one. Sophia and Jared were also frozen in place as the child managed to climb into Jared’s arms. He snuggled close and continued to repeat his new favourite word.  
  
Nobody knew what to say. What could they say? How could they tell a child that no, that guy who raised you since birth is actually nothing to do with you and therefore you shouldn’t call him dada? At the end of the day, when it all came down to it, Jared  _was_  Tristan’s father. Sure, he wasn’t related by blood but he’d been there since the beginning. He’d changed dirty diapers, sang lullabies and made bottles at stupid o clock in the morning on more than one occasion. He was every bit of a father as Jensen was and Jensen suddenly didn’t know what to think of that.  
  
Without them realising it, Jared had wedged himself in Tristan’s life. They’d created a bond that would never be broken. The child looked up to Jared like a father and, while he’d always recognise Jensen as his father, he also thought that Jared deserved that title, too. Some might find it crazy that they were so concerned about the happy blabbering of a kid who couldn’t even walk yet and probably had no idea what the word ‘dada’ even meant but it wasn’t crazy, not really.  
  
Jared was all Tristan had ever known. Who the hell was Jensen to tell his son that Jared hadn’t earned the right of being called his father if that’s what Tristan wanted?  
  
“Yeah, baby.” Jensen whispered tentatively and shared a nervous look with Jared. “Dada.”

 

-x-

  
**Part 4**

-x-

Jared didn’t know how he felt about Tristan referring to him as dada. On the one hand, it made his heart swell with such love and pride but, on the other hand, it was all kinds of fucked up. The straight single father was letting his child call his gay best friend dada and Jared was all kinds of confused. Was it fair to let Tristan think Jared was his father? What if Jensen met somebody else and Jared wasn’t there all the time anymore? It was extremely unlikely but what if Jared found somebody else and moved out?

He just didn’t know what to think but luckily he had the puppies to keep him sane. Sadie was being a sweetheart and sleeping next to him on the couch but Harley was jumping up on his knee and plastering slobbery doggy kisses to his face. Jensen was busy putting Tristan to bed so he was free to freak out on his own for a little while.

“I am so screwed.” Jared finally concluded.

It had probably been the best Christmas of his life but that didn’t make it any less stressful. He and Jensen had done their best to make it perfect for Tristan, showering him with presents he’d never remember and making sure that he got to enjoy the boxes just as much as what was in them. Seriously though, there was no way that packaging was  _that_  exciting but Tristan seemed to think otherwise.

“He’s finally asleep.” Jensen yawned as he turned on the baby monitor and dropped down onto the couch cushion that Sadie wasn’t occupying.

Harley turned his attention to Jensen and he clambered onto the other man’s lap. Jensen grinned at the puppy and snuggled him close. It was insanely adorable to see Jensen cuddling a puppy. Had he done something really bad to deserve this torture? He didn’t think it was possible to want Jensen any more than he already did.

“He like his new blanket?” Jared had spent hours searching for the perfect blanket for the child. It sounded ridiculous to spend so long looking for a blanket but Jared wanted it to be one that he could continue to use as he grew up so it was important that he got it right.

“Yeah.” Jensen beamed. “He looks so cute all snuggled up in his new PJs and blanket.”

“You think he had a good day?” Jared had made a promise to make it a good Christmas and he really hoped that he hadn’t broken that promise.

“Yeah, Jay. It was perfect. Thank you for doing all of this.” Jensen pulled Jared into a hug. “You’re an amazing friend. I’m so damn lucky.”

Jared held Jensen tighter than he usually did and took a moment to take in his scent and warmth. “You’re more than welcome. Thank you for the puppies. I love them.”

“And thank you for the Hannah Montana DVD.” Jensen smirked.

“You loved it!” Jared laughed.

“You’re so lucky that you explained it was a gag present before I opened it. I’d have kicked your ass so hard.”

“Sorry, Jensen, but your face when you saw that DVD was worth you throwing it at my head.” Jared had a bruise from where the DVD had connected with his skull but it was so worth it. Jensen’s reaction had been hilarious even though he knew it wasn’t his real present.

Jensen rolled his eyes and lifted his feet up onto the couch so that he could curl up on his side and rest his feet in Jared’s lap. The fire was on and the TV was quiet while the Christmas lights sparkled on the tree in the corner of the room and two happy puppies slept at their sides. It was the Christmas Jared could only dream of and at that moment he couldn’t see his life getting any better than this. He had no doubt that one day Tristan would begin asking questions but until then he was going to soak up all the time he could with the boy. If Jensen was ok with it, then Jared was more than ok with Tristan calling him whatever he wanted.

It was an honour that the small boy thought he deserved the title of dada, even though for all they knew Tristan might not have even been saying dada. He could have just as easily been babbling something that only happened to sound like dada but it didn't matter. Jared wished he could shout it from the rooftops how happy that made him but that would probably clue Jensen into the fact that he was ridiculously in love with him. He sighed and pulled at the loose threads of Jensen’s fluffy socks while his friend drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t long before Jared fell asleep either.

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

“Come on, Tris!” Jensen applauded his son as the tiny human crawled shakily towards him.

His son had been getting more confident with his movements and gradually had been able to get onto his hands and knees and take cautious little shuffles across the floor. Jensen had cried like an idiot when he’d first seen Tristan crawl. He’d been doing some homework on the couch while Tristan was playing with his toys on the floor when the child suddenly started shouting dada as he clumsily moved towards him. Luckily Jared hadn’t been there to tease him about it. How was Jensen ever going to embarrass Tristan in front of his future boyfriend or girlfriend when he was older if it was Jensen who was having the most embarrassing moments?

“Happy New Year!” Sophia stepped into the room and pulled on a party popper, sending a shower of confetti all over Jensen and Tristan.

“Soph, it’s still another five hours until New Year.” Jensen muttered and shook the confetti out of his hair while Tristan squealed happily and grasped handfuls of the colourful paper.

“Have some holiday spirit, you grouch!” She teased. “When’s your cousin getting here?”

“Chris should be here in a minute. He called me like a half hour ago.” Jensen grinned. He was excited to see his cousin. He hadn’t seen him since Chris had run off with his band to tour a year ago and he was one of the few family members that actually stuck by him when he had Tristan and text him all the time, calling when he could. He still hadn't heard much off his dad and Josh was too busy trying not to flunk out of college so he was glad that at least one family member would be here.

There was a knock on the door followed by a loud thump and a muttered curse word that could only be Jared tripping over Harley again. Jensen really hoped they’d hurry up and grow because it was just going to end in tears if Jared kept landing on the poor puppy. He heard Chris’s laughter and couldn’t help the huge smile that crossed his face when his cousin stepped into the room.

“Well, look at you!” Chris beamed and pulled Jensen into a hug. “You look semi mature now!”

“Yeah, having a kid does that to you.” Jensen laughed.

“Jared isn’t that bad, is he?” Chris teased and Jared cuffed him around the back of the head.

“Dada!” Tristan demanded their attention and Jensen bent down to lift his son into his arms to greet Chris.

“Well, aren’t you growing like a weed!” Chris laughed and made some pretty embarrassing cooing noises at Tristan. “Looking more and more like your father every day. Shame really because he’s not as good looking as he thinks he is.”

“Ok, you’ve been in my house for like two minutes and you’re already insulting me?” Jensen laughed. “Do you want to sleep outside?”

“You can sleep at my place.” Sophia offered with a wink.

“Why, thank you,darlin’. That’s mighty kind of you.” Chris put on his thick southern accent that had Sophia practically swooning.

“Don’t bother, Chris.” Jensen scolded. “We actually like this girl.”

“You say that like I’ll sleep with her and never call her again.” Chris pretended to be offended.

“Because you probably will.” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Besides, she’s got her eyes on Chad tonight.”

“If he ever shows up.” Sophia mumbled with a sigh.

“He doesn’t even finish work for another half hour.” Jared laughed. “You’re in loooooove.”

“I hate you.” She glared at him and it made them all crack up laughing.

“Ok, Tris, time for bed.” Jensen pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead and he gurgled happily in response before reaching out for Jared.

“Dada!” Tristan made grabby hands at Jared and he took Tristan into his arms. Tristan yawned and Jared blew a raspberry on his cheek, causing him to giggle.

“Want me to put you to bed, huh?” Jared asked. “Let daddy and Chris catch up for a while.”

“Night, Tris.” Jensen couldn’t resist cuddling him again as Jared took Tristan’s arm to wave it goodnight to them all before taking him upstairs.

“So…” Chris narrowed his eyes at his cousin. “Dada?”

“Yeah,” Jensen sighed. “I’m so not discussing that.”

“Jen, the guy has raised your kid with you. The kid’s calling him dada and you’re not correcting it. Are you together?”

“What?” Jensen snorted at the ridiculousness of that statement. Jared would never go for him because he knew that Jensen was straight. Well, maybe Jensen wasn’t all that straight anymore. It was all Sophia’s fault that he’d finally realized just how often he’d often found himself staring at his best friend for a little too long and he’s caught himself fantasizing on far too many occasions. That didn’t matter, though, because Jared has better taste in guys than a single father.

“Well, I’m sorry, Jen, but the only way that makes sense is if you’re fucking Jared. If you’re not, then you’re seriously going to fuck with that kid’s head!” Chris was as close to shouting as he could possibly be while still whispering and Jensen winced at the clear disapproval.

“I’m not talking about it.” Jensen snapped back as Sophia left to go and answer the door to some of their college friends that they’d invited for the party.

“One of you is going to get their heart broken here, Jensen.” Chris warned. “And it sure as hell better not be your son.”

Jensen nodded numbly at that realisation and pasted on a fake smile to welcome their guests while Chris helped himself to a beer in the kitchen. His friend had a point but Jensen just couldn’t see Tristan calling Jared anything other than dada. Even Uncle Jared seemed like a poor substitute for dada. Jared deserved the title he’d been given and Jensen was beginning to wonder if that was for more reasons than Jared’s parenting skills.

It was those thoughts that ended with Jensen being shockingly drunk by nine thirty to the point where he was dancing with Chad in their back yard while Sophia cheered them from the deck. Chad was laughing and trying to look good for Sophia, even though he was already in there, while Jensen just wanted to feel good and let the music do the talking. Sophia left them alone to get them more drinks and Jensen was stunned when Chad leaned over and kissed him.

“What the hell!?” Jensen shoved Chad back instantly and wiped at his mouth.

“I don’t get it!” Chad whined and that’s when Jensen remembered that Chad was not a happy drunk. “There was nothing special about that. Hell, you’re not even that hot!”

“Okay," Jensen drew out the word as he tried to think of what the hell just happened. "I’m completely lost in this.” Jensen was too stunned to think. “Did you just kiss me?”

“I wanted to see if you were special and all amazing but you’re not. I don’t understand. Why can’t I be like you?” Chad looked lost and Jensen almost felt sorry for him. “Why does he have to love you when I’m right here? When I actually loved him back?”

“Wait, are you talking about Jared?” Now Jensen was really confused.

“And you don’t even know!” Chad let out a frustrated noise that made Jensen brace for an impact that never came. “You don’t even know how lucky you are to have somebody like Jared love you! You have no fucking idea how blessed you are to have that man dote every second of his life to you and your son. I’m getting over him, I don’t sound like it right now, I admit that I sound like a crazy person but I am getting over him. I don’t even want him anymore! I’m slowly falling for Sophia but I just needed you to know how damn honoured you are. It’s wrong of me to tell you something like this but I don’t care. You have everything I used to want and you don’t even know it. Don’t you dare let him think he’s anything less than amazing.”

Jensen suddenly felt very sober.

“He deserves the world and if you’re not going to give it to him then you need to tell him. He doesn’t deserve to spend his life waiting around for you to maybe love him back. The deeper he falls, the harder it’ll be to get him back. Plus, he loves your son, Jensen. You were just a kid when Danni got pregnant and so was Jared, and yet, he’s stuck by you and that boy through everything. He’s slowly throwing his life away because he’s busy playing happy families with you and Tristan. For fuck’s sake, Jensen, your son calls him dada!” Chad swayed on his feet slightly but Jensen was frozen to the spot. “If Jared leaves now, then Tristan is still young enough to not remember him.”

“Leaves?” Jensen whispered in disbelief. He couldn’t ever consider Jared leaving.

“Yes. If Jared isn’t the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, then he needs to know. He needs to know now so that he can accept that he’ll never be a father to Tristan, so that Tristan isn’t going to grow up for Jared to suddenly leave one day when this all goes to shit. Or one of you meets someone else. It’s going to be hard to take a step in either direction, but it’s not just yours and Jared’s feelings here. There is a little boy upstairs who doesn’t deserve to be put in the middle of this.”

“When the fuck did Chad Murray start making sense?” Jensen groaned in defeat and sat down on one of the loungers in the garden. His head was spinning from all this new information.

“When the only person I’ve ever loved didn’t love me back.” Chad answered, much calmer now. “I’d have given anything to have what you have. So don’t fuck it up.”

Jensen was left alone as Chad picked up his beer bottle from the table Sophia had left it at and retreated inside. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He didn’t doubt any of Chad’s words. Yes, Jared had earned the right for Tristan to think of him as a parent, but that still didn’t make him one and Jensen had needed Chad to tell him that. He’d needed those strong words and he needed to hear just how much it was going to go to shit if he didn’t figure it out.

“He’s a smart kid.” Chris sat down next to him, causing Jensen to jump slightly.

“He’s two years younger than you. He’s not a kid.” Jensen argued on autopilot, mentally cursing Chris for eavesdropping. “I don’t know what to do, Chris. I’m nearly nineteen years old and I have a son. I’m too young to think about forever. How do I know if Jared is the one I want to be with?”

“Let me ask you a question.” Chris handed Jensen a beer and he took it gratefully. “When you see your future with Tristan, is Jared there?”

“Yeah.” Jensen answered without even having to think about it. “Jared’s always there. He’s actually the only person I can see in my future.”

“Then I think you might have an answer.” Chris smiled softly and Jensen knew without a doubt that Chris was right.

He just had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

“Here!” Sophia shoved a glass of champagne into Jared’s hand just before midnight and he drank nearly half of it in one go, choking when Sophia slapped him. “That’s for midnight, you dumbass!”

“Ow!” Jared glared at her but she smiled sweetly as Jensen appeared at his side.

“Ready for the ball to drop?” Jensen grinned drunkenly and Jared wrapped an arm around him to pull him close.

“You know me. I love balls.” Jared laughed and Jensen gave him a fond smile.

“Thanks, man.” He chuckled. “Nice to know.”

They turned their attention towards the TV as Dick Clark began the countdown. Jared still hadn’t moved his arm from around Jensen’s shoulders and his friend didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Jensen leaned even closer, causing Jared to drop his arm down Jensen’s back to rest around his waist.

Their friends were counting down for a few more seconds before cheering and singing began but all of that faded away when Jensen turned to look at him. Time froze and Jared couldn’t tear his eyes away from his friend. Hell, his everything.

“Happy New Year.” Jensen whispered and leant up, pressing his lips against Jared’s in a kiss that was much more than simple well wishes.

He was stunned for a few brief seconds before he seized the opportunity with both hands, literally, using them to cup Jensen’s cheeks and deepen the kiss. He expected to be shoved away. He really didn’t expect Jensen to moan softly and kiss him back, tangling their tongues together in a slow rhythm. It wasn’t a drunken, desperate kiss. It was soft and intense and felt incredibly romantic, which was strange because he was almost certain that Jensen didn’t feel that way about him. Did he?

“Happy New Year.” Jared said breathlessly once they broke apart. “Jen, what? What was that?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen looked scared but he wasn’t running and that was the main thing. “But I don’t regret it.”

“Me, neither.” Jared admitted. “How come you kissed me?”

“Chad yelled at me.” Jensen blushed and Jared didn’t know if he should thank Chad or yell at him for talking to Jensen about something that wasn’t his business. “Made me realise that I should either let you know that I’m willing to try this or to let you go before either you, me or Tristan get hurt.”

“I’m really hoping that this means you’re willing to try and not letting me go.” Jared would argue until he lost his voice if Jensen was letting him go but he was rewarded with a shy smile as Jensen linked their fingers together and kissed his knuckles.

“I’m willing to try.” He smiled shakily. “But I’ve never looked at a guy until you. I need this to go slow. As in, slower than slow. I’m going to be insecure, completely annoying and you’re going to get blue balls before I let you anywhere near me but I do want this. I want to try.”

“I’ve had blue balls since Tristan was born.” Jared laughed. “That’s not even a problem. You really want to try?”

“I really do.” Jensen kissed him chastely as if to prove it. “Really, you haven't slept with anyone since Tristan was born?”

“Chad is the only person I’ve slept with.” Jared stated. “Nobody else.”

“Because of me?”

“Because of you.” Jared confirmed. “It felt wrong.”

“Well, we now have Chad in common.” Jensen chuckled.

“What?” Jared would have known if Jensen had slept with Chad. He’d know because Chad would be dead right now.

“He kissed me before.” Jensen grabbed Jared when he spun around to go on a rampage towards Chad. “He wanted to see what it was you liked about me. I shoved him away.”

“I want to kill him!” Jared growled but Jensen just laughed.

“It’s fine. Without him, I wouldn’t have kissed you.”

“I’m not thanking him.” Jared said stubbornly.

“Of course not.” Jensen rolled his eyes and bumped his hip against his.

A new year, a new relationship and a whole new start. Bring it on.

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh. My. God.” Jared let out a pained whimper at the pounding in his head.

He felt like ninjas had crept in while he was asleep and quietly, but very thoroughly, beat the shit out of him. If he hadn’t consumed his body weight in alcohol last night then he’d actually wonder if he was dying. He tried to move but there was something heavy on his chest and that something made an annoyed moan as he tried to move.

Jared felt like a complete idiot for shrieking like a big girl. How was he supposed to remember he fell asleep next to someone?

“Ow!” Jensen whined and pulled a pillow over his head. “Why would you squeal at me so early in the morning?”

“I thought you were an intruder!” Jared winced at the volume of his own voice as he settled back down next to Jensen.

“How many intruders do you know that openly snuggle you?” Jensen huffed and rolled over to squint at the alarm clock. “It’s not even six in the morning, you jackass!”

“I’m sorry.” Jared groaned and closed his eyes against the blaring light from the alarm clock.

He couldn’t help smiling when Jensen curled up against him again and rested his head on Jared’s shoulder and his hand on his chest. An overwhelming feeling of happiness took over him at the move. This was how he wanted to wake up every morning. He wanted Jensen in his arms to be the last thing he felt before he went to sleep and the first thing he felt when he woke up. He wanted it all and he was so damn happy that he could finally have it. Jensen was his if he wanted him and he wasn’t prepared to let him go. He looped his arm around Jensen’s waist and used his other hand to gently run his fingers through Jensen’s hair.

Jensen let out a little contented sound as his fingers moved over his scalp and he snuggled closer like a kitten, trying to seek out more of the soothing touches. He pressed a kiss on Jensen’s forehead and the other boy wrinkled up his nose in distaste.

“You smell like a dirty brewery.” Jensen said without a care if it offended Jared or not.

“Gee, thanks.” Jared deadpanned. “You don’t exactly smell like roses right now, either.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see you pushing me away.” Jensen grinned and clung tighter to Jared, as if to prove his point.

“That’s ‘cause you’re warm.” Jared argued weakly. “Besides, I don’t see you pushing me away, either.”

“You make a good pillow.” Jensen shrugged. “A smelly pillow but a comfy one all the same.”

Jared couldn’t decide if he should be offended by that or not.

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

The next time Jared woke up it was to the sound of Tristan crying over the baby monitor. He groaned as his headache intensified and watched in wonder as Jensen ignored his own headache and climbed out of bed to go and comfort his son. It always amazed him to see the lengths Jensen would go through to support his son. He was a good father and he deserved a break once in a while.

Jared’s brain screamed in protest when he climbed out of bed. He glanced back at the bed and noticed that it was Jensen’s bed they’d fallen into last night. He was still dressed in last night’s clothes but his jeans were unfastened. It felt good to know that he and Jensen hadn’t done anything they’d regret while drunk. He fastened up his jeans and followed the sounds of Tristan’s cries.

Jensen was stood in his nursery, rocking Tristan in his arms and singing softly to him. The child had no intention of stopping crying, though, and he held out his chubby little arms towards Jared when he caught sight of him. Jensen hesitated for a moment before passing his son to Jared.

“I’ll take him.” Jared whispered, trying to use a soothing voice to calm Tristan down. “Go back to bed.”

Jensen looked torn between wanting to follow Jared’s instructions and not wanting to leave his son. After a few tense seconds, Jensen managed a shaky nod and retreated back towards his bedroom. It wasn’t the first time Jared had woken up to look after Tristan. Hell, it wasn’t even the hundredth time but this time was different. This time, they were a team. They were in this together and it just wasn’t the same. It meant much more now for Jared to look after Tristan. He wasn’t just looking after his best friend’s kid anymore. He was looking after a child that would possibly be his own one day, if Jensen allowed it.

Things suddenly became a lot more serious.

  


 

 

 

 

  
***

 

 

 

 

 

“There’s my favourite boy!” Jensen cooed as he walked into the kitchen a few hours later.

“Thank you.” Chris flashed him a shit eating grin and Jensen slapped him around the back of the head.

“Not you.” He glared at his cousin and Chris barked out a loud laugh.

“Aw, thanks.” Jared flashed his dimples and Jensen almost gave into them.

“I didn’t mean you, either.” He rolled his eyes and dropped down to sit on the chair next to Tristan’s high chair. “I meant you!”

Tristan squealed excitedly as Jensen nuzzled him and blew a raspberry on his cheek. He was covered in whatever mushed up cereal Jared was trying to feed him and he slapped a sticky hand on Jensen’s cheek. Jensen winced and pulled a face, causing his son to laugh.

“Thanks, baby.” Jensen wiped the milky substance off his skin and pretended to pout but Tristan ignored him in favour of opening his mouth for Jared’s aeroplane.

“This is far too domestic for me to handle in a morning.” Chris grumbled and rose to his feet. “If you need me, then I’ll be nursing my hangover with the hot brunette across the street.”

“Her name’s Sophia!” Jensen called out after him but all he got was a dismissive wave as Chris slammed the door behind him. His cousin wasn’t really mad, just hungover and tired. The bang still made Tristan jump a little, though.

“Aw.” Jared couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Did that nasty Chris scare you?”

“He really is a rotten one, isn’t he?” Jensen grinned as Tristan babbled some nonsense, almost agreeing with him.

Jensen couldn’t stop smiling at his son as he rose from his chair and began hunting for some of his own breakfast. It had been nice to sleep late and he really owed Jared a cake or something for letting him attempt to get over his hangover in peace while he kept Tristan occupied. The only bad thing was that the bed was cold without Jared in it. Shit. Jensen had almost forgotten that he’d spent the night curled up around his best friend and that he’d quite happily kissed him last night, promising him everything he had to offer.

Jared was acting natural, leaving the ball in Jensen’s court as if the slightest touch or kiss would send Jensen running for the hills. Well, that wouldn’t do. Jensen had been deadly serious when he said he wanted this. He’d never start something with somebody if he wasn’t completely certain that it was what he wanted. He had a child to think about and Jensen needed Jared to know that he’d already thought of Tristan and that he wasn’t about to take any of last night back.

He came up behind his best friend while he was still feeding Tristan and he wrapped his arms around him, kissing the nape of his neck to say good morning. Jared froze for a brief moment in shock before turning to face him, accepting the kiss Jensen pressed on his lips.

“I’m serious about this. Don’t treat me like I’ll run.” Jensen told him and he was almost blinded by Jared’s grin.

“I’ll bear that in mind.” He beamed and leant up for one more kiss before resuming with his task of feeding Tristan his breakfast.

The New Year was looking like a very good one indeed.

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

It took Jensen an embarrassingly long time to realise that Jared was wooing him. Jensen was being fucking  _wooed_! He’d seen Jared baking cupcakes for him all the time and buying sweet little things for him and Tristan as his friend being a good friend. However, Sophia had kindly pointed out that Jared was wooing him and not just being nice, and Jensen felt like the world’s biggest idiot. How had he not noticed that Jared was trying to prove he was good boyfriend material? Jared has never cleaned the bathroom in his entire life and he’s done it eight times in the past two months!

“I’m a dumbass.” Jensen admitted and dropped his head down onto the table with a thump.

“Yes. Yes, you are.” Sophia grinned. “It’s really sweet to watch, though.”

He couldn’t believe that he’d been with Jared for two months and hadn’t noticed that the poor guy was doing every possible thing he could to be nice to Jensen. Jared has always told Jensen to go fuck himself whenever he’s asked him to take out the trash before but now he takes it out without even being asked. He’s being… domestic.

“Oh my god! I broke him! I’ve turned him into a house husband!” Jensen turned wide eyes to Sophia and she let out a cackling laugh.

“Oh, Jen! Your reaction is priceless!” She clapped her hands excitedly.

“He’s changing for me!” Jensen whined. “I don’t want him to change for me. He’ll end up hating me for it.”

“He’s not changing.” Sophia assured him. “He’s just growing up.”

“He bakes cupcakes.” Jensen said as if it explained everything. “That’s not growing up.”

“He’s making your house into a home, Jen. He’s nesting, or whatever. I don’t know if he knows that he’s doing it but he’s trying to show you that he’s the perfect guy to have a family with. He wants you to know that he cares for you and Tristan and I think he’s showing you that he can be mature and settle down. Before he was just helping you look after your kid but, now he’s helping you raise a child and he knows how hard it is for you. He’s trying to give you a break and I think it’s beyond romantic.”

Sophia always did make sense. She made even more sense since she started dating Chad a couple of weeks ago. They’d only been on a few dates but he was already whipped and she was glowing from her new sort of boyfriend. It made Jensen think that maybe she did know a thing or two about relationships because even Chad smiled when he saw Jared and Jensen together.

He didn’t have time to question her further, though, because Jared walked through the door with Tristan perched happily on his hip and babbling excitedly at the two mutts that had grown considerably since Christmas. They were still pups but, damn, they were big, clumsy idiots. Kind of like Jared when he hit his growth spurt at fifteen.

“Hey!” Jared grinned and greeted Jensen with a kiss. “How’s your morning?”

“Better now that you’re here.” Jensen couldn’t stop himself grinning back and pulling him down for another kiss. It was fair to say that Jared had turned him into a sap.

“Daddeeeee!” Tristan reached out for him and Jensen happily took him in his arms, blowing a raspberry on his cheek as he did so.

“He’s so adorable.” Sophia sighed happily and watched as Jensen bounced Tristan on his knee.

“Down, girl!” Jared joked. “Chad is  _not_  going to be giving you kids anytime soon.”

“Then can I have yours?” She pouted and Jensen slowly rose from the chair and backed away from her. “Hilarious.” She deadpanned.

“You don’t want, Tris.” Jared assured her. “He farts a lot.”

“He and Chad will get along perfectly!” Sophia argued.

“He gets on with Jared perfectly, too.” Jensen muttered and Jared feigned shock.

“Ha!” Sophia giggled. “You’ve got a farty boyfriend!”

“So do you.” Jensen reminded her.

“Aw, crap.” Sophia slapped a hand against her forehead. “Didn’t see that one backfiring.”

“Well, it has been lovely to see you, Soph.” Jensen gave her a huge fake smile. “But I think it’s time for you to go home.”

“Wow, is that the time? I must go!” Sophia rolled her eyes. “Smooth.”

She gave him and Jared a hug before pressing a kiss to Tristan’s cheek and snuggling the dogs. She spent longer trying to leave than she’d spent visiting. It was nice having a friend as good as her. She was a permanent in their life and has always stood by them,unlike Jensen’s own family who'd pretty much dropped off the radar, except for Chris. He was so thankful to have her.

“So…” Jared chuckled. “You kicked her out of here pretty fast?”

“Are you _wooing_  me?” Wow, Jensen really was smooth. He set Tristan down near his toys in the living room and turned to face Jared.

“Uh…” He was perfecting a deer caught in the headlights look. “I wouldn’t call it, ‘wooing’, per say, but I’ve certainly been trying to make you fall for me?”

“Jared.” Jensen sighed. “I fell for you a long time ago. I just didn’t know it, then.”

“I like making you happy.” Jared shrugged. “We’re a team and I fully intend to continue doing what I’m doing.”

“You have to make  _you_  happy, too.” Jensen argued softly but Jared just smiled.

“When did you ever think I was unhappy?” He leant forward and gently cupped Jensen’s cheek, locking him in eye contact. “Making you happy is what makes me happy.”

“You are one sappy motherfucker.” Jensen whispered so that Tristan wouldn’t hear.

“Only for you, babe.” Jared grinned and kissed him deeply, tangling their tongues together and drawing out a soft moan from his boyfriend. “Keep it PG, Jen.” He teased.

“Can’t help it.” Jensen blushed the most adorable shade of pink as Jared kissed him again.

“If I don’t stop now, then I won’t stop.” Jared said regretfully as he pulled away.

Jensen wanted to tell him to not stop but Tristan was playing happily in the same room as them and he wasn’t sure he was ready to let Jared have all of him yet. They slept in the same bed every night but they hadn’t gone any further than kissing and some heavy making out when Tristan was asleep. He was starting to think that maybe he was ready for some sort of physical contact. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready for sex but he was ok with trying some foreplay.

“Maybe Sophia can have Tristan tonight.” He suggested, feeling his cheeks burning as he spoke.

“Yeah?” Jared looked hopeful but not pushy and it made Jensen want him even more.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “We’ll have to put a tracker on Tristan in case she decides to follow through on kidnapping him but, yeah, I want some time alone with you.”

Jared’s grin was blinding as he pulled Jensen into his arms once more, kissing him soundly. “That could be the best idea you’ve ever had.”

  


 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

“Best. Idea. Ever.” Jared panted as Jensen kissed up his stomach and chest after giving him possibly the best blow job of his life.

“Glad you enjoyed.” Jensen let out a breathy laugh as he pressed a kiss to his lips, deepening it briefly before settling down next to him on the bed.

They were both blissed out from their evening and Jensen was more than proud of himself. He knew he made Jared happy with their day to day life but he wanted to be capable of pleasuring him too. It made warmth buzz in his chest to know that he was comfortable being in bed with his boyfriend. It was a big deal but seeing Jared go down on him like it was the best thing in the world had made him bold and he’d happily returned the favour. He didn’t regret one second of it.

“I think I’m going to keep you.” Jared said once they’d gained control of their breathing again.

“Gee. Thanks.” Jensen laughed as Jared placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Jared nipped on his earlobe and Jensen shivered from his touch. He leant into his boyfriend’s embrace and happily snuggled up against him with his head on Jared’s chest. He could hear his heart beating rapidly and could feel how warm his skin was against his palm. Jensen didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world at that moment.

“Thank you.” He whispered some time later.

“For what?” Jared replied, equally as quiet.

“For waiting. For going slow.” Jensen pressed a kiss onto his chest. “For not pushing me. For being patient. For being kind. For looking after Tristan. For looking after me. Hell, thank you for being you.” He emphasised each point with a kiss and was shocked when Jared pulled him up so that he could kiss him properly.

“You never have to thank me for loving you.” Jared breathed into the kiss and Jensen gasped at the words.

“I…”

“It’s ok.” Jared smiled and kissed him once more. “I don’t need to hear it until you mean it. I’ve had longer to fall than you have.”

“When did you? Fall?”

“When you got in that car crash.” Jared’s eyes watered from the mere thought of it and Jensen couldn’t help his own eyes doing the same at seeing how badly it had affected him. “I thought I’d lost you. That was when I realised that I couldn’t lose you. Ever. I physically couldn’t cope if I lost you. Then I saw you with Tristan and you were breathtaking. You were all banged up in a hospital bed but you looked down at that child like he’d hung the stars for you and that’s when I knew.”

“You never told me that.” Jensen would have kissed Jared much sooner if he’d known this.

“I thought you were straight.” Jared shrugged. “I didn’t want to lose my best friend.”

“Never.” Jensen promised. “Even if this goes to shit, you’ll never lose me. It’ll be hard and it’ll hurt like hell but, if you ever need me, then I’m there in a heartbeat. You’ll always be my best friend. We’ll work it out, no matter what.” They traded a few more kisses and fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms.

  
In that moment, things really couldn't get better.

 

  
**Epilogue**

-x-

 

 

 

 

“Happy first birthday!” Jared cheered and held the cake out towards Tristan.

“Make a wish!” Jensen prodded enthusiastically, even though Tristan was clueless to this tradition.

“I wish I was home!” Chris called out and Sophia smacked his arm.

“Blow out the candles.” Jensen said to Tristan and laughed as Tristan blew near the cake.

It was pitiful to watch Tristan try and blow out the candle so Jensen poked his head over his son’s shoulder and blew out the candle for him, cheering along with everybody else, while Tristan clapped happily.

Jensen couldn’t believe it had been a whole year since his son had been born. Time had gone so quickly that he felt like he hadn’t had a single moment to take a step back and breathe. He’d been thrown into life as a father, discovered that he was very much into his male best friend and had lost the girl he’d once thought he’d marry. She was living it up in Europe and had assured Jensen that she couldn't be happier. It made him feel bitter that she was happy without their son but he was glad she had no plans to take him from Jensen. It was insane how much had changed over the past year but he didn’t regret a second of it. He had a son who continued to inspire him every day and a boyfriend who he was happy to hand over his heart to and he couldn’t ask for more than that.

“You ok?” Jared asked as they watched Tristan entertain his guests by waving his arms around and babbling happily to himself.

“More than ok.” Jensen meant it when he said those words and he took a moment to really think about just how ok that he was. Things with Jared, they were perfect.

“Daddyyy!” Tristan squealed excitedly as he took a few shaky steps towards him while clutching onto Jared’s fingers. Jensen hadn’t even noticed that Jared had moved but at that moment he didn’t care.

“Oh my god!” Jensen beamed and got to his knees, holding his arms out for Tristan to walk to. “You’re walking!”

“Kind of.” Jared grinned and gently let go of Tristan’s hands just before he reached Jensen and watched as he took two steps all by himself before falling into Jensen’s arms.

“You did it!” Jensen cheered and placed a sloppy kiss on Tristan’s cheek. “Daddy’s so proud of you!”

Jared was biting his lip while grinning and he looked so gorgeous that Jensen tugged him down to give him a kiss. They were rewarded by a chorus of groans by their guests and Jensen flinched as a couch cushion hit him on the head. He glared at Chris but he feigned innocence.

“Hey, can you not throw things at the person holding a child?” Jensen asked.

“Can you stop calling Jared a child? I’m starting to worry.” Chris teased and failed to duck out of the way as Jensen threw the cushion back at him. “Ow!”

“Ok, let’s not destroy the house!” Sophia stepped between them and squealed when Chad yanked her backwards so that she fell on top of him and the couch. “You ass!”

“Ass!” Tristan yelled at the top of his lungs and Sophia slapped a hand over her mouth while everyone else cracked up laughing.

“I’m so sorry!” She buried her face in her hands but Jensen wasn’t mad. It was too funny to get mad.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said while laughing. “He’ll soon forget it.”

“Ass!” Tristan said again proudly and Jensen maybe doubted those words.

“Or not.” Jared chuckled and pressed a finger to his lips so that Tristan would copy him. “You can’t say naughty words, Tris.”

Tristan pressed a chubby finger against his lips and held a serious expression on his face that just made the laughter start all over again. He copied the laughter and Jensen just shook his head fondly. Mimicking everyone around him was Tristan’s new favourite thing to do and he was going to have to be really careful about what he said because that little boy was just bound to copy anything bad.

“So, I was thinking.” Jared whispered into his ear and nibbled gently on his lobe.

“Hope you didn’t hurt yourself.” Jensen had to go for an insult to avoid the moan that he really wanted to let out.

“Shut up.” Jared let out a breathy chuckle that really didn’t help things. “So I was thinking that we should go away for the weekend.”

“Really?” Jensen kind of liked that idea.

“Well… in two weeks, it’ll be our six month anniversary so I think that deserves a celebration.”

“Six whole months, huh?” Jensen couldn’t believe it had been that long. “Does that anniversary also come with a medal?”

“You jerk.” Jared jabbed him in the ribs, causing him to giggle rather loudly and earn himself a few raised eyebrows from his friends.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” Jensen grinned and pressed his lips against Jared’s. “We just need to get a baby sitter for Tris and the dogs.”

“I already got it covered.” Jared said smugly. “All you have to do is be there.”

“Wow, my man is a great planner.” Jensen feigned being impressed.

“A weekend alone with just us? Hell, yeah, I’m a good planner!”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weekend was amazing.

Jared drove them to a cabin only a half hour drive away so that they could get home quickly, if something was wrong with Tristan. Jensen was awed by the beauty of the little wooden building. There was no wall between the living area and the kitchen and the one couch in the room was placed in front of an open fire. It was cosy and only had one bedroom and bathroom so it was just the right size for them both to spend some time alone together.

The best thing about the cabin was the silence. Tristan and the dogs were with Sophia and, while they both missed them, the peace was something that was precious and they intended to use that peace to their advantage.

“Can you hear that?” Jared asked as he set down his duffel bag on the huge double bed in the bedroom.

“Hear what?” Jensen replied as he collapsed face first onto the bed.

“Exactly!” Jared beamed and climbed onto the bed next to him. “Silence.”

“Whatever will we do with all this silence?” Jensen smiled and curled himself into Jared’s embrace.

“I can think of a few things.” Jared smirked and held onto his boyfriend tighter.

“Oh… really?” Jensen grinned devilishly and leaned up to press a kiss on Jared’s lips.

“I think we should maybe sleep first, though.” Jared said around a yawn.

“Yeah.” Jensen yawned back, glaring at Jared for making him yawn, too. “Maybe sleep should come first.”

They slowly stripped themselves of their clothes before snuggling down under the sheets together and tangling their limbs. It was warm and peaceful and Jensen didn't want to be anywhere else in the world. He was happy, Jared made him happy.

“I love you.” He whispered for the first time and smiled softly at Jared’s wide eyes that were visible from the light filtering in through the living room.

Jared was silent for several long seconds before giving him a tentative smile. “I love you, too.”

Jensen hadn’t said those words to Jared before. He’d heard them many times from Jared but he’d never felt right saying it back when everything was so new. Now, it felt right. Everything was falling into place and he couldn’t be happier. He had a wonderful boyfriend, a beautiful son, some amazing friends and two overly hyperactive dogs. He couldn’t think of anything else he would ever need.

So, yeah, he loved Jared. That was pretty much all that he needed.

 

 

 

 

 

**End**  



End file.
